𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐨 𝐍𝐨𝐧𝐞 | [𝚕𝚞𝚔𝚊 𝚌.]

A letter

A letter containing the things I want to tell you, but I am too much of a coward to do so.

To my dearest R,

I don't know if you know this but I like you. I don't know when that happened but it did. At first I thought it was just some passing, fuzzy feeling but I now know it isn't.

Every love song is now about you, you plague my thoughts and dreams, you are always on my mind.

I have this fleeting feeling that you do not feel the same way about me as I do to you.

I always find myself texting you first, waiting upon hours just for your text back. I only ever recall two times that you texted me first. I try so hard not to contact you often but it's difficult. You text me back and when I reply you stop responding.

I should take that as a sign that you want me to stop, that you aren't interested in me. I find myself overthinking every time,

'Am I being annoying?'

'Am I someone that you will never like?'

'What if you already have someone else in your heart?'

I never thought you could fall in love with someone you have never met in person before, but after meeting you that thought has been proved wrong.

I've never had this strong of a feeling for anyone, you for some reason are a special case.

You know, I would do anything for you, but I do not know if you would do the same.

You probably think of me as some annoying person you met on the internet who keeps talking to you. You might have someone that you are already chasing after.

Yet I always find myself thinking of you when I know I should be, when I know that you are drawing a line between us. A line that is stopping me from getting closer to you.

I've told my friends about you, something I rarely do is tell them about my live life. They encouraged me to get your socials, and after building up a lot of courage I managed to get it.

I remember the littlest things about you, I can recall the funny conversations that we've had.

You know, I miss the late night gaming sessions we would have. Where we would be playing together for hours and then you would tell me to go to bed when you realise how late it got.

I do not know what hope I am holding onto as I know that these feelings that I have are something that you wouldn't have for me.

Hell, I don't even know what you look like, what you sound like and yet here I am, crushing on you.

I want you to know that I am here for you.

I want you to know that I like you more than I should.

I want you to know that I hate myself for feeling this way.

I want you to know that I can't stop feeling like this.

I don't want to tell you if my feelings as I do not want to ruin the friendship that we have built over the past couple of months. I still want to be able to talk to you, I want to be able to send you things I find funny. I don't want what we have to change unless the outcome is better. But for now, the way things are between us is fine.

I don't know when I'll stop loving you.

From,
Me.