Porcelain Masks

02

Chloe

Afloat with the weight on my shoulders. Each wave felt like a blow, knocking the breath out of me. I gasp for air, feeling like the oxygen is being wrenched out of my lungs, each breath becoming harder to catch.

His presence looms over me, a constant shadow I can't escape. Every day, his image haunts me, a reminder of my failures. My body seems to have an unconscious attempt to banish him from my mind, but the feelings remain, deeply rooted, refusing to fade. They cling to me, whispering that they will never let go. How much longer can I endure this? It's keeping me awake every night, the weight of it pressing down on me.

It's him.

Callum Westbrook was more than just a name in my life; he was an enigma, a force that dominated every corner of my heart and mind. I remember the first time I saw him. It was at one of my parents' lavish parties, a celebration that Klara, of course, was the center of. Of course, she won a piano competition. I was in the background, as usual, blending into the wallpaper. But even then, my heart was racing. He was more than just handsome; he had an aura that drew everyone in. Everyone except me, it seemed.

Over the years, my infatuation only grew stronger. I watched him from afar, my feelings for him deepening with each stolen glance. When he laughed, it was like music; when he was serious, the whole room felt it. I tried to push my feelings aside, tried to focus on anything else, but it was no use.

Callum was in my thoughts constantly, like an obsession I couldn't shake.
It didn't help that Klara seemed to glow even more in his presence. They were inseparable, and the more they were together, the more I felt like I was disappearing. Callum would whisper something to Klara, and she would laugh, a sound that felt like a knife to my heart. I wanted to be the one to make him smile, the one he looked at with those intense green eyes.

But he never did. To him, I was just Klara's obnoxious and awkward sister. I was nothing compared to her.
When Klara died, a part of me hoped—no, believed—that maybe now he would see me. Maybe he would finally notice the girl who had loved him all along. But the reality was far crueler. Callum blamed me for Klara's death. His anger was palpable, and his hatred was a constant reminder of my guilt.

Despite this, my feelings for him never wavered. They only intensified. It was twisted and wrong, but I couldn't help it. He was my first love, my only love, and no matter how much it hurt, I couldn't let him go. My nights were filled with dreams of him, and my days with the ache of his absence.

Even now, ten years later, the pain hasn't dulled. Every time I see him, it's like a fresh wound, a reminder of what I can never have. He's in my system, an unshakable part of me. And as much as I hate it, as much as I hate him for not seeing me, I know that I will never stop loving Callum Westbrook.

The jar of water on the counter seems too far out of reach. My hand trembles as I grasp a glass, desperate to get some water into my system, hoping it will calm the turmoil inside me. The cool liquid soothes my dry throat, but it does nothing for the chaos in my mind.
Suddenly, her laughter echoes in my head, a haunting melody that won't leave me. Her voice, soft and familiar, murmurs my name, and the ringing in my ears grows louder. I'm afraid I'll wake Elle, afraid she'll see the cracks in my facade and be drawn into my failures. It's already so painful for me, and I don't want my new life here to reveal my past mistakes. Callum already reminds me with his looks and actions how much he hates me for taking away the love of his life, Klara. He is surprisingly one of the people who won't let me go away from the pain of what has happened, I can never let it go.

I glance at the clock, its hands moving slowly, taunting me with each passing second. Sleep seems like a distant dream, one I can never reach. The weight of my guilt and regret is too heavy, anchoring me in a sea of memories and mistakes. The dormitory is quiet, but inside my mind, a storm rages, and I am lost in the waves, struggling to find my way back to the shore which seems too far.