August 18, 1969.
He asked her to marry him. He actually asked for her hand in marriage before coffee!
Frida woke up instinctively at around 7 o'clock, and as soon as her eyes gained focus, she was able to make out Benny, dressed in only his jeans, lying on his side with his left arm supporting his head, staring at her. He looked so antsy, so excited to tell her something. But before she could say anything, he dropped the question.
"Will you spend the rest of your life with me, Frida?"
Oh, that plagued her mind nonstop, all day long.
It seemed simple enough, and it wasn't like she was completely blindsided by it. They were living together, splitting the bills and the chores, and even taking vacations with all four of their kids when they were with them. In Frida's head, they were married–just without the formality of it all.
That's why she couldn't understand why that question sat in her mind uncomfortably the entire day, which wasn't good because she's set to open a cabaret show with Charlie Norman tonight.
But as she did her hair and makeup, Frida couldn't help but think about it.
Maybe there is merit in her hesitation.
Perhaps she's scared to get married again – to fill that role again without first discovering everything she could be outside of being a wife to someone else. Also, she isn't officially divorced from her ex-husband yet, and her relationship with Benny was more tumultuous than it was stable at times, but despite both their shortcomings–hers and Benny's–Benny always found a way to turn things around for her.
Whenever she'd be hit by the blues, Benny was quick on his feet, helping her change her perspective of a situation.
He carefully broke down her walls with a sense of gentleness that she only ever associated with him, and instead of feeling weak at the loss of her facade, Frida felt she could be stronger with Benny – more honest and vocal about what she wanted in life.
Echoing her thoughts from this morning, Frida muses that although they had only been together six months, Benny inspired more radical change in her as a person than anyone in her life ever had, save for perhaps, her grandmother.
All this was enough to make her realize that she wants to spend the rest of her life with him, but that didn't stop her from saying no this morning.
...
"Benny, are you sure you want to marry me?"
"Of course, I'm sure," Benny responded fast, as if that were the dumbest question he had ever heard in his life.
"But what if I'm not," Frida asked softly, an air of fear lacing her voice.
"I understand that with all of the things you heard about me through the years," Benny replied gently stroking her hair. "But, could you maybe turn that little alarm in your head off for a while and listen to what I'm saying now," he chuckled.
Frida smiled and nodded.
"I am serious about you," he told her softly. "You are honestly the love of my life, and I don't know a lot of things, but what I do know is that I want to grow old with you – have a family with you, sing with you, just...be with you through whatever," Benny insisted, guiding her hands to his lips for a kiss. "But if you aren't ready, I can wait – for as long as you need me to, I swear."
She felt tears sting her eyes at those words, "Benny..."
"Just think about it, okay?"
By the way he's looking into her eyes, as if seeing her soul more clearly than she ever could, Frida thinks she could say yes to him now – throw all caution to the wind and just say yes.
