𓊆ྀི۫ ̣̣̥ ݂ ⑅ unseen pain 𓏽ִ minsung

𝟎𝟒. // the drawer

Tw !!
Please do not read if you get triggered, if you do these kind of stuff, seek professional help.

Jisung's pov.

The clock showed 2:37 a.m. I couldn't sleep at all. I had been staring at the ceiling for the past two hours, my mind a whirlwind of thoughts about everyone and everything. Tears filled my eyes as I sat up in bed, not bothering to wipe them away. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel the hurt. I deserved it. I do everything wrong. I hate myself. People hate me.

Why live?

I slowly got up from the bed, making my way to the bathroom. I opened the top drawer, my hand gripping the knob tightly. Inside, the blade lay there, a sinister invitation.

Should I really do this?

Yes. I deserve it.

But I don't? Why do I deserve it?

Just do it.

The voices in my head argued fiercely until they overpowered me. I sighed and looked at my wrist. With trembling fingers, I picked up the blade and ran it across my once clean skin.

Gosh, this feels so good. I couldn't stop.

I drew lines on my once beautiful wrist, each one a testament to my anguish. My heart told me to stop, but my mind demanded otherwise. I looked at my wrist. It wasn't enough.

I deserved more.

Sighing deeply, I pulled my pants down and dragged the razor blade through the tender flesh of my thighs. Each cut went deeper than the last. I continued until there was barely any space left, then moved to my stomach.

After I put the razor blade back into its place, I stared at the mess I had made, feeling immediate guilt.

Why did I do this?

Because I deserved it, right?

But I'm just like anyone else?

Finally, I turned on the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me. The sting of the water on my fresh wounds was intense, a mixture of pain and relief. As the water washed away the blood, I felt a strange sense of cleansing, though the emotional scars remained raw and festering.

After the shower, I stared into the mirror, analyzing every little scar that had formed from the tiny blade.

How can such a small blade do so much?

I went through my night routine: putting on pajamas, washing my face. That was all I did for my night routine. Somehow, I had also managed to finish my homework despite being half asleep. I probably did everything wrong, but at least I did it. It counts, right?

I closed my blinds and climbed into bed, checking my phone one last time. The time showed 3:19 a.m. I had two hours and forty-one minutes to sleep.

As soon as I put my phone down and rested my puffy cheeks on the pillow, exhaustion overwhelmed me. I passed out almost immediately, falling into a restless sleep.

a/n

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