𓊆ྀི۫ ̣̣̥ ݂ ⑅ unseen pain 𓏽ִ minsung

𝟏𝟖. // confession

It had been six days since Han Jisung last saw Minho.

It had been six days since Han Jisung last harmed himself.

Since their time together, Jisung and Minho had kept in touch, their bond strengthening with each meeting. They found solace in each other's company, and Jisung discovered that Minho's sweet smile and contagious laughter provided a temporary escape from his inner torment. Minho had become a comforting presence in Jisung's life, almost making him forget the deep hatred he harbored for himself.

Almost.

Jisung hoped his mind was beginning to heal. The thought brought him a fragile sense of hope. But despite not feeling the urge to harm himself over the past six days, there he stood, in his enclosed bathroom, tears and snot streaming down his flushed face.

His reflection in the mirror was a haunting sight. Dark circles under his eyes highlighted his malnourished appearance, and his lips were cracked and dry. Lifeless eyes stared back at him, fixated on the blade lying on the sink, a silent temptation.

His heart pounded painfully against his chest, each beat a reminder of his inner turmoil. His breathing intensified, and his body trembled uncontrollably. Slowly, Jisung's shaky hand reached out for the sharp object, his thoughts running wild with what his future might look like once the blade met his skin.

As his cold fingertips brushed against the metal, the noise of his phone buzzing in his bedroom broke the eerie silence, halting his actions. The unexpected sound pulled him away from his dark thoughts.

He hesitated for a moment, then headed into his room, his heart still racing. Lee Minho's name lit up the screen, a beacon in his stormy mind.

Without hesitation, Jisung answered the call, and the sound of Minho's familiar voice entered his ears, instantly calming him.

"Jisung," Minho cheerfully called through the phone. "Are you busy?"

Was he busy?

The blade on the sink suddenly seemed a million miles away.

"No, not right now," he meekly responded, biting down harshly on his bottom lip to suppress a sob.

"Do you want to go somewhere with me?" Minho asked, his voice filled with genuine warmth.

Jisung swallowed hard, wiping away the tears that still clung to his cheeks. "Sure," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"Great! I'll pick you up in an hour, wear something comfy." Minho replied, a smile evident in his tone.

Jisung hung up and took a deep breath, feeling the heavy weight on his chest lighten slightly. He glanced back at the bathroom, the blade now a symbol of a path he chose not to take, at least for today.

———

An hour later, Jisung stood outside his house, nervously fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. The sky was overcast, a dull gray that matched his mood. Minho's car pulled up, and Jisung managed a weak smile as he approached.

"Hey," Minho greeted, his eyes sparkling with genuine happiness.

"Hey," Jisung replied, getting into the car. The warmth inside contrasted with the cool air outside, wrapping him in a comforting embrace.

They drove in comfortable silence for a while, the city streets bustling with life around them. Minho glanced over at Jisung occasionally, sensing his friend's unease.

"You okay?" Minho finally asked, his voice soft.

Jisung nodded, though he knew Minho could see through the facade. "Just... rough day," he admitted.

Minho reached over and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "We're going to have fun today, I promise."

"I remember seeing loads of rocks painted in your bedroom." Minho told him as they sat on the blanket that the older had sprawled out on the grass in the park; empty punnets of cherries and grapes surrounding them.

His "date" idea was to have a picnic at their local park, whilst painting small rocks. It was simple, however Jisung couldn't help but adore the gesture.

Slightly smiling to himself, Jisung felt his cheeks heat as his brush stroked across the stone in his palm.

The design was rather plain. Jisung painted the base purple, his favourite colour, and in the centre of it, he drew a yellow smiley face.
"Minho," Jisung softly called out, causing him to look up from his own art and over to his with a look of intrigue spread across his features.

"Here." He held her hand out, handing him the rock.

"If you ever feel sad... just look at the rock and think of something happy..." he anxiously instructed, chewing his bottom lip.

Instantly, a shade of pink dusted itself across Minho's cheeks as he looked down at the object and then looking back at him, before he suddenly leaned in and placed a chased kiss on his chapped lips.

His actions caught him off guard, and made his eyes widen in surprise.

"That was my first kiss..." Jisung finally uttered once finding the words.

"Oh — I'm sorry, I -"

Though, just before Minho could complete his apology, a quiet - almost nonexistent - giggle escaped the Han boy's mouth and he inched forward and connected his lips with his.

Jisung could feel the bolts of electricity gushing through his veins, and the heat of Minho's face reflecting onto his as Jisung's eyelashes brushed against his crimson cheeks.

When the well enjoyed kiss came to an end, the teenagers reluctantly pulled apart in awe.

"I like you, Jisung, a lot, and I have done for a long time." The boy confessed, and Jisung couldn't help but feel his eyes widen in shock.

Of course Han Jisung liked Lee Minho back - how could he not? He was perfect in ever sense. He was everything he needed.

Though, just the thought of having to rely on sometime frightened him, and caused goosebumps to line his skin as Jisung subconsciously fiddled with his fingers.

Say yes.

Say no.

He won't be around forever.

Neither will you.

Sighing heavily to himself, Jisung did everything hecould to push the terrible thoughts away and she looked across at the boy.

"Will you be my boyfriend, Jisung?"