Call of Duty OneShots

💛[Dad Jokes PT 2]{Ghost+Soap}💛

Match: Soap x Ghost X Male Reader

Warnings: Gets spicy at the bottom.

Author's note: Down at the bottom. I don't want to spoil anything.

It had been a good three weeks since the three of you had been forced to be bunkmates, now having a lovely nightly routine of late-night fucking around involving corny dad jokes. You honestly had lost count of the amount of bullshit you three had gotten up to. Eventually, during the few weeks, the room was rearranged to give you the single bed and let both Simon and Johnny take the bunk beds as they had experienced together, whereas you were more so solo. Ghost was on the top bunk whereas Soap was on the bottom. They both had situated themselves with their decorations. Soap had placed LED lights on the bottom of Ghost's bunk. They were blue during the day, sometimes switching to a theme for a special occasion like pink on National Breast Cancer Day, and off during the night so Ghost didn't complain. Your side, however, had some fake ivy plants hanging down from the ceiling along with fairy lights for when you wanted to read. Although the plants were fake, they were as good as you were going to get, especially when you moved around as much in the special forces. 

 Currently, you three were helping cook a meal together. Admittingly the cultural differences between British, Scottish and your nationality were...difficult to say the least to work around you three managed to make a decent meal. Johnny had made some type of flat bread for Ghost's brown gravy. With both sweet carbs and savory sauce, you knew that it was missing some greens. Looking through the groceries, you pull out some older asparagus that was going to go bad soon, as well as some butter and seasonings. You grill up the vegetables and sauté them in a garlic butter solution, adding a minuscule amount of chili flakes as to not take away the flavor of the stalks. (Can you guys tell that I cook a lot?) After the short moment on the stove, you plate them along with the bread.

"I feel like this meal is missin' something." Ghost mumbles, lifting his mask up to taste. He had never taken the mask off for either of you two. He sits on the chair, admiring the meal. "Meat?"

"We don't have anything but chicken, and since you made beef gravy...probably not," you respond. You take your own plate, piling it up with bred and gravy, mixing the asparagus with the gravy. Tasting your shared meal, you enjoy the salty yet savory flavor. "Not bad though." Ghost was always knit picky about his foods; he always considers himself a good chef.

Soap seemed quieter on the matter, content with his own meal. Soap was never picky about his foods, even enjoying interesting food combinations like peanut butter smothered hot dogs. 

"This reminds me of a joke." Turning to face you two, Simon crosses his arms. 

"L.T.." Soap sighs, crossing his own arms.

"You know what, I want to hear this. Take it away Simon."

"Right. A head of broccoli and two carrots are in a car going to the circus. About halfway there, their car breaks down. One carrot, the driver, hops out of the car and says, "I got a flat tire, I should have brought asparagus." Ghost couldn't help but to chuckle at his joke, moving his mask back to cover his mouth again. 

"Ugh, that was awful. I regret letting you speak," you retort.

Soap chimes in, "I agree. He needs to learn how to shut his yap sometimes. And it wouldn't kill em to take the mask off to eat. I imagine it smells like shite, especially after eating a meal." That was true. Ghost only had one mask. Granted, he took care of that thing like it was a child to him but you couldn't imagine it was comfortable to wear all the time.

"There's nothing wrong with my mask Johnny. It's perfectly fine how it is." Ghost seemed to be sensitive on the matter, squinting his eyes at the two of you. Ghost preferred to be faceless around you two, which in hindsight was fair but in headquarters it seemed almost mistrusting. You never thought about it too deeply, some people were shy or had their own religious reasons to hide their face.