i've got a hundred thrown out speeches i almost said to you

stay with me tonight

on a starry night, on the balcony of suguru's dorm, he and satoru lean against the railing and gaze up at the night sky.

"one, two, three..."

satoru speaks in a low tone, almost inaudible to suguru's ears. a light breeze permeates the air, and the distant lights of the city twinkle from afar. satoru looks at suguru, his heart pounding with unspoken emotions while the other seems oblivious to his best friend's inner struggle.

suguru's gaze is focused on the stars, unaware of satoru's eyes on him. he continues the dove-haired boy's unfinished sentence, raising a finger to point at the seemingly never-ending void of black dotted with stars.

"four, five, six..."

unusually quiet, satoru's gaze remains on suguru, his heart rate quickening with each passing second. he yearns to say something, but the words seemed trapped in his chest. as the raven-haired boy continues counting, satoru's eyes scan his features, fighting the urge to reach out and caress his face.

only then does suguru notice his best friend's strange silence, the emptiness in the air sending confusion and worry through his heart. he turns his head to face satoru, a question in his eyes that he was unsure how to word.

the question in suguru's eyes almost seems to bring satoru out of the internal battle within him. his lips part as if to say something, but the words get caught in his throat. instead, he forces a small, shaky smile.

suguru blinks in concern and offers a comforting smile in kind, his gaze lingering on the other boy before he turns back to the sky. another breeze passes by, and they both shiver.

satoru's heart clenches as he turns away, his mind struggling to find the right words to say, to express the complicated emotions he has been feeling. and it's even worse because all those feelings are about suguru, his best friend.

more silence, and then suguru finally speaks.

"cold?"

just one word from him, one word spoken so carefully as if he was afraid that satoru would crack and shatter if he didn't speak with the utmost kindness and care. suguru feels conflicted, harboring a longing for satoru, but he knows it's not a good idea because he would soon be leaving, to fulfill his beliefs and murder all of those pathetic monkeys, ignorant to the suffering of jujutsu sorcerers who sacrifice everything just to protect them from curses, the horrifying creatures created by intense feelings from those ungrateful monkeys themselves—

suguru calms himself and instead focuses on this moment, standing next to satoru. decides to push his bitter, hateful thoughts aside before they spiral out of control and he excuses himself to commit murder in the distant city.

meanwhile, satoru glances at suguru once more and shivers, but not because the night is cold. he shivers because he feels so overwhelmed.

"just a little bit."

an uncomfortable, prickly air settles between them, satoru itching to reach out and place his hand on top of suguru's own that rests on the railing.

so close, yet so far.

so suguru, the ache inside of him growing, reaches out and pulls his friend into his arms because all he wants is for satoru to feel okay.

satoru's heart skips a beat, maybe two, eyes widening slightly in surprise. though, it quickly melts away; he wraps his arms around suguru in turn, feeling more bittersweet than overwhelmed. he calms down, resting his chin on suguru's shoulder, whispering softly.