Everything changed since that day

CHAPTER 04

  After what happened at the lobby, I went straight into my desk and started working right away. 

Nang makaramdam ako ng sakit sa mata, kinuha ko ka-agad ang aking eye drops sa tabi ng aking monitor. 

My desk is mostly kept well-cleaned. Ayoko na lagi itong madumi or madaming nakalagay, my colleagues calls it minimalist pero I just want it clean looking at kapag madumi ito sa paningin ko agad ko itong nililinisan bago pa ako mag-trabaho. I have diagnosed myself with OCD. 

The paperworks are filed into a coloring system, and right beside it is a wall dedicated for my sticky notes. My sticky note pad is right beside my filed paperworks so I could access it quickly to write important notes, sometimes when I'm on a phone call its either an important reminder for the novel I'm currently working on or setting up a meeting with the author. 

I only have a two pictures on my desk, one is a picture of my parents and I, and the other one is a picture of Lili and I when we graduated college.

Lili was undecided when we graduated fourth year high school, she didn't know what to take. Her parents want her to be a doctor, but she opted out of it saying it was too much studying and work. When I asked her if she can come with me to apply for Bachelor of Arts, she had this great idea of applying too, saying that applying to different programs might give her an idea of what she wanted to take. 

In the end, we ended up taking the same program and major. When we graduated, it was the happiest day of our lives. Finally, no more studying. But, I didn't know it would be this lonely. 

No one told us that the adult life would be this repetitive, boring, and....lonely. Really Lonely. 

Sumandal ako sa upuan ko at napa-buntong hininga.  

I am happy with the friendship I have with Lili, but.. she has this great life ahead of her. She has so many dreams and knows what her future would like while me on the other hand is stuck in the present

She said at the age of twenty-seven, she wants to get married and have kids and still be an editor. Lagi siyang nagpapa-salamat at kung hindi dahil sakin, hindi siya magiging editor sa company ni Miss Mariel. 

Si Miss Mariel ay nai-intindihan na kapag hindi oras ng trabaho, hindi namin kailangan sumagot sa e-mail. Nai-intindihan niya na may buhay kami sa labas ng trabaho.

Kahit ako, nagpapa-salamat na may isang boss katulad ni Miss Mariel. 

"Chrystia, una na kami" bati sakin ng aking work mate. Hindi ko namalayan na oras na pala para umuwi. 

"Ingat!" bati ko. 

Ano na kaya nang-yari sa meeting ni Lili? 

I checked my phone kung may message ito sakin. Wala. 

Usually, she messages me right away kung may problema at mukhang wala naman. 

I turned off my computer, and took pictures of my sticky notes. Minsan tumatawag ang mga author lagpas office hours pero okay lang sakin, wala naman akong pinagkaka-abalahan na iba. Taking pictures of my sticky notes helps a lot for me to remember the notes they gave me kung sakaling may tanong sila. 

Halos lahat nang author na naka-usap ko, nagkakaron ng writers block at minsan pinapaalalahanan ko sila kung anong napag-usapan namin tungkol sa novel.

Once I'm done taking picture of my notes, bumaba na ako. I'm planning to wait for Lili at ihatid na lang siya pauwi. 

Pag-labas ko ng elevator ay nakita ko agad si Miss Craella. 

"Hi, Chrystia right?" she remembered my name?