Mystery Of Love // Remus Lupin

Chapter 35

I was sitting on my windowsill, my diary laying on my lap but my eyes were fixed on the heavy rain behind the window. 

My thoughts were about Barty. The same questions replaying in my head all the time...

Why did he do that?

He was the best brother someone could ask for. 

All the memories of us playing on the fields behind our mansion, the times we bothered our mother so much she would practically cry out of frustration. All the Christmas parties that we hated so much so we sneaked away whilst stealing bunch of food to our rooms.

The way he held me when I was crying as a small kid. 

He was such a sweet person...but what happened...

I snapped out of my thoughts when our dorm door opened and Clara walked in. I didn't really pay any attention on her. I took the mug that was resting next to my thighs, only to find the tea cold.

I let out a quiet sigh and stood up, walking over to our little kitchen corner to prepare a new cup of tea. 

"Alicia" I heard Clara saying. 

"Hm?" I hummed

"Can we talk?" 

I looked over my shoulder at her and nodded. I poured myself some tea and walked back to the windowsill, pulling a soft blanket over my legs. 

"So uhm" she started, avoiding my gaze "Anthony had a chat with me" she said. I almost wanted to roll my eyes. I stayed quiet, letting her continue talking. 

"And he kind of made me realize how badly I have acted with you"

I looked at my lap, playing with the rim of the mug. 

"I don't know why I acted the way I did, maybe it was the drugs...I don't know, I am sorry"

I let out a quiet sigh and nodded. 

"I promise I won't be like that again, I- I talked to Charlie as well and...we were both wrong" 

"I'm happy you understand all of that now" I said and looked into her eyes "I won't lie, you hurt me a lot, Clara"

"I know, I am really sorry"

"Well seeing that you barely apologize for anything then I must accept that" I smiled "Just...don't do this again" 

She nodded. 

It was a small pause before we both stood up and hugged each other. 

"I thought I lost my best friend" I whispered

"Never" 

We chuckled and pulled apart. 

"I was thinking maybe we can bake something today? Those cinnamon rolls we made last time were delicious" 

"I agree" 

That was our afternoon bonding session, we caught up with the latest gossip and baked. I really wanted to tell her about Remus, but I didn't feel that safe yet. 

"How's the dog doing?" I asked her, she had spent most of her time in boys dorm so she knew more. 

"Good, seems like he has gotten used to his new life. He gets a lot of food" 

"Well that's good, poor baby was starving" 

"Boys want to go to Hogsmeade one night, to get him more stuff. You should join us" 

"Maybe I will" 

After our long cooking session and eating, Clara went to take a nap whilst I decided to pay a visit to Remus.

I knocked quietly on his office door and it opened rather quickly. We both looked at each other, he seemed to be surprised whilst I had a sweet smile on my lips. 

"Hey" He said quietly and let me in "What are you doing here?"

I reached forward a plate where were two cinnamon rolls. 

"Brought you some" 

He took the plate and smiled, thanking me. 

"Clara and I made them" 

"Clara?" He raised an eyebrow

"Yeah...she apologized to me today" 

"That's good, isn't it" he smiled again as we sat down on the office chairs. 

"Yeah" I nodded "I am still a little skeptical but well I hope I can trust her" 

"I am sure everything well get back like it was used to be" 

I gave him a small smile. 

"What else is on your mind?" he asked me and took a bite of the sweet. 

"Nothing" I replayed quickly, making him raise his eyebrows again.

"You look like you are on another planet, come on now, tell me"

"I just miss my brother" I said quietly, looking at my lap "I know I shouldn't but-"

"He is still your brother" he finished my sentence, making me nod "It's ok to miss him, Alicia-"

"But he isn't a great person..."

"He was,  you miss old him and that is absolutely normal, darling"

"Maybe, I don't know" I sighed

He licked his fingers clean, walked up to me and crouched down in front of me, taking my hands in his. 

"It is okay to feel that away, Alicia. It really is. I have beaten myself up the same way, thinking I shouldn't miss them...him...but I do-"

"Who" 

He looked away and clenched his jaw. 

"I...cannot tell you that at the moment. In the future, I promise you. But the things is...Barty was your brother and you had wonderful moments together before he changed...he is and will be your brother" 

I felt a bit disappointed he didn't tell me who was the situation about but I understood him. It was a tough conversation. 

"I don't understand why he...changed" I whispered "We had everything...wealth, loving home, he promised to never leave me...but he did..."

He listened to me carefully, his thumbs rubbing my hands softly. 

"Yeah well...it happened and we cannot change that" I sighed "Anyway, how's your day been?" I asked him, both of us smiling sadly. 

"I've been grading and grading" 

"Need help with that?" 

"no, no-"

"I have been thinking of something...well, about two things actually" 

"Yeah?" 

"The first thing is that what if I start being your assistant again" I said nervously 

"Do you want to?" 

"Yes" I nodded "I - I quite liked it actually..."

"Then we have to talk to Dumbledore " he smiled "and the other thing?" 

"Remember you once told me you are starting those patronus lessons with Harry and then asked me if I was interested in learning that with you two?" 

"I remember" 

"Well...is this still possible?" 

"Of course, you are more than welcome to join us" 

"Oh" I smiled "good, good" 

We talked for some time before I made my way back to my dorm.

 Before eight in the evening Clara, the boys, their dog and I made our way to Hogsmeade to get some good butterbeers and more toys for the dog.