Uncontrollable Desires

Will you be with me forever? part 1

Author's pov:

She stood up from the bed, ran to him and threw herself at him.

He stumbled but didn't hugged her back. His hands in the air around her waist.

She hugged him tighter and sobbed in his arms.

She realised that he didn't hug her, so she detached herself from him, wiped her tears and looked at him with moist eyes.

"Why are you here?". She asked looking at him.

"I..I just want to check whether you are alright" he said gently.

"That shouldn't concern you, Murtasim. Please go from here. I am not well mentally. You are adding it up. I am feeling like I am forcing you to be with me, forcing you to hold me in your arms , forcing you to console me. When I hugged you on the road, you didn't hug me back . Now when I am yearning for your warmth, you are still not holding me. It makes me feel like I am forcing myself on you. I..."

She couldn't complete her words , she started sobbing badly.

She sat on the floor with a thud and started crying hysterically.

She started to struggle for breath.

Murtasim moved to her and sat down on the knees beside her.

"Shh....please relax...take deep breaths" he rubbed her palms and tried to console her.

She could see that he is worried for her.

She didn't give in, she moved back from him and said with slow voice while stuttering,"don't ...don't co....me .....to me. I ca....n ta.....ke ca....re of my.....self "

She started rubbing her palm on her chest.

"Mumma...I want you. please.....I..I want you...badly....mum..maa....please..co..me...to...your...dau...ghter..".

Murtasim couldn't able to do anything. He could see that she is so much affected by her Mother's death. It's been years but she is still not yet recovered.

Murtasim pov:

When she asked for her mumma while struggling for her breaths, my heart broke.

She needs me, I can feel that.

But on the other side, i am worried about her papa.

If he gets to know about me, will he be able to love her the same? Will he able to accept her?

I don't want her to lose her father's love because of me .

These are the questions that is running in my mind.

But I can't deny that she is the only reason for my existence.

Every time she walks to me, my heart beats faster .

When she smiles at me, my heart flutters.

She is the only one who has wrapped me around her little finger.

She is the peace, calm and  light which I have yearned for years

She is yearning for me, she is craving for someone who can console her, pamper her and take care of her .

She is the angel which God has sent to me.

I came in to reality when I saw her crying loudly.

She needs me the most.

I will give her what she wants.

I can't lose her.

My eyes become moist seeing her like this.

I let my guards down in front of her.

I moved towards her, picked her up in my arms from the floor and sat on the couch with her in my lap.

I hugged her closer to my chest, wrapping my arms around her waist, started rocking back and forth while rubbing her back with my one hand.

She snuggled in to me immediately.

Her tears are drenching my shirt, i could feel her trembling form.

After few minutes,  her breathing has become normal.

I looked down at her, she looked at me from my chest.

I wiped her tears.

She looked at me and new tears started to form in her eyes,"i...I swear..I don't want to force myself on you. Whenever I face anything bad, mumma used to be there for me. After mumma, i started to yearn for you..I want you to hold me and take care of me...if you feel that I am forcing myself on you, just...tell me once...I promise...I will never ever disturb you...pakka promise "...

She said while pinching her throat.

She was looking so cute while doing that.

I wish I could tell her how much she affects me.

I sighed and wiped her tears.

She added,"And please don't ever do this( while pointing her finger at my hand which is on her face) because you feel sympathy for me. I would rather die than expecting this from you...I just want you...only you...your love, care and your everything only for me"

I wiped her tears with my thumb bad and said in a soft voice,"First,you are not forcing yourself on me. Second, I don't feel pity for you...Third, the most important thing, don't ever talk to me about death."

She nodded like a child.

I chuckled lightly and added,"I am here for you and will always be there for you."

She smiled a little and buried her face in my chest.

"You are so bad. You always make me cry. But I am ready to cry for the rest of my life, if the next moment I will be in your arms. I need you so so much. You are my everything. Haan...and remember I will throw lot of tantrums, I will always call you and torture you to speak with me for hours. I will ask for hugs and kisses whenever I want. I will ask you to cuddle with me when I can't able to sleep. I will ask you to feed me when I don't want to eat . I will ask you to rock me back and forth on your lap when I want to be  pampered the most. And I will ask you to love me more and more when I want to feel you so close to my soul".

Her last line stole my breath.

She looked at me and placed a soft kiss on my jaw.

My breath hitched at her small action.

"Now tell me, will you be with me forever becoming my forever?"

She asked caressing my cheek.

"I will be with you as yours forever and ever. Now please eat and sleep. You have cried so much and that's enough. I don't want tears in your eyes again"..

I said placing my hand on hers.

She laughed mischievously. And I know this girl is up to something.

She husked in my ears which widened my eyes.

"But I want to be in tears when you are deep inside me and me either under you or on you screaming for orga...."

I placed my palm on her mouth.

This girl has no filter in her mouth.

And that's the thing I like about her the most. But she is becoming bold.

She giggled and pecked my palm which is on her mouth.

I removed my palm and said,"you should eat now"...

She shook her head negatively and pouted.

I don't know now what she is up to.

To be continued...