How to Get Away with Lying

Chapter 4

Ethan

Memories are the Worst Form of Torture

"Thank you all for coming," Ms. Mattson, the Ember Falls High principal, said into the microphone. She stood on the small stage that had been set up for that day's assembly in the gymnasium, a sad smile on her face. "Please, take your seat quickly so that we can begin."

We hadn't had an assembly since the first day of school that year. That was why it was so odd to be seated on the bleachers. Especially since I knew what was coming – I had already heard this same speech a thousand times during the past few weeks from my parents.

I fidgeted uncomfortably, glancing constantly toward the gymnasium doors whenever they'd open. A part of me still hoped that my girlfriend, Adley, and my sister, Annabeth, would walk in, laughing together as they'd sit down beside me.

Instead, everyone filed in silently, looking at me every so often. Of course – because after getting caught making out with Adley during the Halloween party, rumor had spread. Now, I was known as "the dead girl's boyfriend."

I couldn't decide if it was a step up or down from "the dead girl's brother."

Once the audience of teenagers that had been disrupted from their first-period classes quieted down, Ms. Mattson began. "I want to start by saying that Adley Morgenstern will be missed tremendously. She..."

I stopped listening to the principal when I caught sight of the side gymnasium door opening. However, it wasn't who I had dreamed it would be. Instead, Calvin Walsh, Dylan Guerra, and Kyle Meester sneaked in, then climbed the bleachers to sit next to me.

"Are we late?" Calvin asked as he sat beside Dylan, who sat on my left.

"What do you think?" Kyle hissed, patting me on the shoulder and trying to smile as he took his spot on my right. He adjusted the undone button of his cherry-red buttoned-up shirt, then said to me, "Sorry, we were held back by a teacher."

"But we're here for you now, man," Dylan told me, fixing the gray beanie that covered the top of his messy, shoulder-length, brown hair. "God, I still can't believe any of this happened. Adley seemed totally fine the night of the party. A little too fine, if you know what I mean–"

"Shut up!" Calvin scolded, punching Dylan in the shoulder. "That's the thing about being in the position that she was in. You never know what somebody is going through on the inside. One minute, they're smiling. But the next, they're wishing they had never existed."

"All we are trying to say is that Adley didn't deserve this. I wish we would have known how she was feeling," Kyle stated, cracking his knuckles and staring down at the floor.

I couldn't remove my eyes from the stage, though I tuned out the suicide prevention speech that Ms. Mattson was sharing with my year. My friends were right – I had known Adley inside and out, yet I had never expected her to have been thinking such horrible things.

That's why none of this made any sense.

You take two pills, Adley – not four, echoed in the back of my mind, though, and I was suddenly brought back to that night.

Maybe she was wanting to end her life.

Maybe I just didn't know her at all.

Maybe this is all my fault.

"Pay attention to if you or someone you know is experiencing a loss of appetite, a loss of interest in activities, a withdrawal from others, energy loss, substance abuse, self-harm, or a large change in personality. These are common signs of depression, which can lead to suicidal thoughts," Ms. Mattson explained as everyone nodded their heads in comprehension like robots. "This is why it's important to ask others how their day is going. Simple things like that can change everything."