Stardust

for a moment I think he's looking at my boobs

Tell me that you're still mine

Tell me that we'll be just fine

Even when I lose my mind - Taylor Swift

Stella

As soon as Belly comes to meet me and Jere in the car, I know something is wrong. Five minutes ago she was on the verge of tears because Conrad forgot her birthday and now she's almost skipping to the car. Whatever happened she doesn't feel like sharing with us, which feels like another red flag. We pick up Taylor at the bus stop, eat a banana split and everything is normal. I'm about to forget about this sudden good mood of hers when Jeremiah goes to the bathroom, leaving the three of us alone, and my sister decides to spill the beans.

- Ok, what is going on? - Taylor asks. - Why are you all silly giggly?

- Conrad didn't forget my birthday! - Belly smiles from ear to ear, using her hands to cover her face. - I found the gift he got for me when I was looking for the car keys.

Taylor and I exchange a look. We have a silent agreement not to encourage Belly's crush, but it's like walking in a minefield.

- Really? - Taylor gives her a nod. - What is it?

- An infinity necklace. It's so beautiful, Taylor. You would've loved it. - The certainty in her voice makes my stomach churn painfully. - He was the one who explained infinity to me when we were kids. I'm sure that's what the note said.

- Note? - The question leaves my mouth before I can stop it.

- Oh, yeah. There was the box with the necklace and a note, but Jeremiah called for me when I was gonna read it. - Belly sighs. Her eyes might as well be heart shaped. - He probably didn't wanna give it to me in front of everyone, you know how he is. Public declarations are not his thing.

- That's... wow. - Taylor is speechless, which is something that before right now I'd say is impossible.

- So what are the plans for today? - I very not subtly change the subject. - It's your birthday, we should celebrate.

- Yes, please. - Taylor nods vehemently. - Let's go to a party!

- Susannah is making a lobster dinner. - Belly shrugs. - I invited Cam before finding the necklace. What do I do now?

- Nothing, girl. Make Conrad sweat a little bit. - Taylor holds her hand. - Hey, we could go to Nicole's party after dinner.

- Yes! - My voice is high pitched. I'm a fraud. - Let's go.

The more debutante events we have, the more I get attached to the girls. It's weird whenever Shayla wants to talk about boys, aka Steven, but we make it work. Being in Nicole's house and not here with Conrad feels like the best idea right now.

- Ok, fine, we'll go. - Belly agrees. - It'll be fun.

Her eyes are shining. I wanna kill myself. I'm a monster. I can't believe I've done something that will take this happiness away from her. One more reason why I need to stop this nonsense.

The drive back to the beach house is torture. Belly is over the moon because of that necklace and while Taylor tries to not encourage her, it's her birthday and none of us wants her to be sad.

I finally catch a break when the girls decide to go to the pool so that Belly can wear the gift Taylor got her - a pink bikini, a bit more on the short side, but very cute. While they get ready, I sneak out of Belly's bedroom and take the hallway to Conrad's.