Stardust

i'm crazy about this girl

Tell me that it's not my fault

Tell me that I'm all you want

Even when I break your heart - Taylor Swift

Conrad

The ice pack on my hand feels heavy, even though it really isn't. It's not like Nicole needs it, she said so herself when we walked into the house, but I needed to get away from that pool and Stella and that stupid bikini. THAT. FUCKING. BIKINI.

I have no idea what me and Nicole even talked about, I kept losing focus. Stella can wear anything - especially nothing - and still be the prettiest girl in the room. When I reach the second floor, I peek over the hallway window, trying to get one more glimpse of her, but she's gone.

- Here you go. - I give Nicole the ice she doesn't need or ask for. - I'm sorry about this.

- Conrad, it was an accident. - She smiles, putting the icepack on her nose. I'm willing to bet the reason that ball hurt her was because she recently had surgery. - Seriously, I'm fine.

Truth be told, I'm not worried, it was a soft ball and Nicole never claimed to be in pain. I'm selfish like that. I needed an escape.

- It's a fun way to spend the end of the afternoon. - She adds casually and I feel my blood turn to ice.

- End of the afternoon? What time is it? - I pick up my phone before she has a chance to answer. Fuck. I'm late. - Shit. I have to go, I should've left a long time ago.

- Oh.

- Can you see yourself out? - I ask in a hurry, grabbing my wallet and keys. - I'm so sorry, I just, I really have to go.

- It's ok. - She notices my desperation. - Go, I'll be fine.

My feet are out the door in seconds. I run as fast as I can, but by the time I make it to the bookstore, Cleveland is finishing his interview. Fuck. How did I forget about this? I'm not the kind of boy who lets lust get in the way of things.

- Hey. - I approach him after the interviewers walk out of the bookstore. - I'm so sorry, I was hanging out with some friends and I lost track of time and...

- Conrad. - Cleveland interrupts me, putting a hand on my shoulder. - Take a breath. It's ok.

He's not angry. Not at all.

- Aren't you gonna tell me how I fucked up?

- That's the role of a parent, not mine. - A small smile takes over his lips. - There's a reason why I chose not to be one.

- So I'm not fired? - I ask carefully and he laughs softly.

- Look, you were supposed to help me prep. It's not the end of the world that I had to make some shit up about sailing on national television.

Cleveland maintains his good humor, but there's a hint of disappointment in him and it hurts. If he was angry it wouldn't be as bad as this is. He believed in me and I failed. I've been doing a lot of that lately.

- Thanks for not firing me.

I thought this was gonna be the end of this conversation, but no. He points to one of the empty couches in the corner of the bookstore and we take a seat.

- So, be honest with me. - Cleveland takes the tea he was drinking during the interview. - Why were you late?

It's a simple question, but the answer is complicated. I can't exactly tell Cleveland that I lost track of time because Stella was wearing a black bikini that made me forget even my own name. But I also don't wanna lie to him, honesty is the least he deserves after how I screwed up today.