She let out a deep sigh after the older woman gone out. She sat down on the couch and quickly opened the envelope, couldn't wait to read what her sister wrote to her this time.
Dear Barbara,
Is that you? Is the one who reading this letter now is you, my younger twin sister? I'm sure you are. I have confidence that you will come to find me after you received my first letter. One week ago, after a long consideration, I braved myself up to call the company you worked. Your colleague told me that you have already resigned. At that moment, my intuition told me that you are planning to come here and look for me. I can feel it, I can feel the curiosity you have for me because we are twins. I can feel what you feel.
I know. I know there are a lot of questions that were clouding inside your mind now after you came to this house. I was sure you are confused with everyone who mistaken you as me. You might be shocked that you have become a wife and a mother all in a sudden. I'm sorry, Barbara. I shouldn't have lured you over with a letter. You might feel like I have trapped you into all this mess but please forgive my selfishness. I'm very sorry. I'm sorry with all the confusion you have now especially the anger that Bea had threw to you. It's not you that she was angry with. The person she was angry and hate was me, her wife. Before you make any decision to burn this letter or run to Bea to show her everything about this, please calm down and give me a few minutes, and listen to my story.
11 years ago, the day when I first met Bea officially, it was in my high school. She has always been my dream since the first time I saw her. Her attractive outlook, her smart brain, her rich background, everything her was a temptation that draws me close to her. I admit I was a very materialistic and high maintenance girl. Because of the poor life I had since I was a kid, I always wanted to change my fate for being a poor person. I want to have a better life, a much better life. And Bea was my one-way ticket to bring me to the destination I want to be.
I was surprised that Bea got attracted and fell in love with me almost instantly. I can't blame her. I'm really very beautiful. I guess you wouldn't disagree with me since we have the same face. Everyone said we are a pair made in heaven. She is very attractive and smart, I'm beautiful and gentle. Without any obstacle, we got married after being together for just one year.
I thought my dream came true once I become Mrs. De Leon but I slowly realized everything was not the same as what I imagine. I thought we will have a romantic-newly-wed- two-person-life once we got married but Bea doesn't think the same. She was only 20 years old and all her concentration was on her studies. She said she needs to study hard so she could help her father in his business in the future. I try to understand her, I really did. I tried to compromise but I was only 18 years old at that time. I was so lonely and everything was so different from what I want. I thought everything would be better when Bea graduated but then another problem appeared. She was totally drowned into her work and I got pregnant. Having a baby at that age was a nightmare. I hate baby, I hate children, and I hate to be a mother. I was not ready yet. I'm not a mother material.
Slowly, we started to drift apart. Her ego, her ignorance, her possessiveness, everything about her has become a cause of my suffocation. She left me at home alone when I needed her. She demands a wife that obeys each and every instruction she gave. She was just like a king in the house. I'm not a bird. She can't keep me in the cage forever. I started to regret my choice. I started to doubt my love for her. I missed my freedom; I missed the life I was supposed to have. Our relationship has become worse as time passed. And finally, I got an answer for all these. I regretted this marriage. I don't love her anymore. I know I couldn't stand any longer. I need to free myself from all these. I want to leave her but then there is Argus. I admit I'm not a good mother. I ignored him, I neglected him but I really can't help myself. I need time to cool down. I need time to think before I make another wrong decision.
