Revelation

11 July: What is it like, to love?

Do you remember when you first fell in love?

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When Izuku opens his eyes, everything is pitch black. He stumbles, pressing his hand along the edges of his mind. What kind of dream is this?

"Hey."

He whips around, and finds himself staring 5 meters away from his ten-year-old self. He's more than twice the size of his old self, and to see the him he was before, a dirty, mishappened school bag set on his shoulders while he bursts with nervous energy, Izuku's mouth falls open in the softest of gasps. Back then, he was just a Deku. Kacchan was slipping and getting worse,

He was almost always alone.

Split bentos dumped in trash bins and his hero journals soaked with fountain water. Sometimes, he'd come home with bruises he claimed were by his own clumsiness, when they actually stemmed from his lack of worth.

Stumbling, Izuku closes the distance between them, falling on his knees as he stares back at eyes full of green. Scarred, ugly arms encircle this frail frame, an empty vessel with no power; an empty vessel that was destined for failure.

This was him, 7 years ago, baring his flesh and soul.

He pulls back, and smiles. It comes out crooked.

"Hey," He repeats, exhaling a batted breath.

His younger self, Deku, continues to look at him in determination Izuku doesn't know he owns. It's a blaze in his eyes, a fire in hell. Even if he has everything he ever wanted, this version of himself is staring at him like Izuku's lost something incredibly dear to him. He looks upon him in pity .

"Do you remember when you first fell in love?" Deku asks, looking at Izuku with a searching gaze.

The question is enough to throw Izuku off, heat crawling up his face like a spider up its web.

"W-What?"

"You're searching for someone you've lost." Deku continues, watching his own expression carefully. "The someone is very very sad, because for the longest time, you never tried to find her. At least now, you're finally trying to fight."

Izuku's heart wrenches at that. "Starlight, right?" Izuku says, your name falling from his mouth like water from a spring. "H-How long has it been, since I've forgotten her?"

Deku looks thoughtful, pensive.

"Years,"

Is his reply.

"7 years."

Shock binds him, along with the ache of sorrow in his bones as his face twists in regret. You've been suffering like this for 7 years? Protecting him, hiding your anguish because Izuku was too blind to see it.

7 years of memories, stolen and locked away behind a wall and sealed lips.

Don't probe.

That is a warning he is not willing to heed.

Do you remember when you first fell in love?

Back last year, Izuku would have probably said his first love was Ochaco. A picture-perfect confession, confined in the four walls of a hospital room before Izuku could even move his arms. He thought that Ochaco was the one for him. They dated a little after the war. There was nothing wrong with Ochaco, and he's very sure she would make someone very happy someday, but both of them just didn't click the way he thought they would.