Sisters: Butterflies at Graduation [book two]

Chapter Fifteen (NaNoWriMo)

Dedicated to @everyonesbook because I love her comments on this story. Thank you!

Chapter Fifteen

New Years' Eve at the Jackson's unfolds the way it usually does. We arrive at eight-thirty and are greeted with bottles of champagne and party poppers. We gather in the living room where a competitive game of Pictionary proceeds, led by alcohol and the rapidly dwindling hours of a new year.

I sit on my own, sipping at my wine glass and watching the New Years' Eve concert on the telly. Mrs Jackson has left the room to refill glasses and Mr Jackson stands in the archway leading to the dining room with my dad, keeping one eye on the time and the other on the conversation. Mom and Jennifer talk about college and Michele sits nearby, pretending to listen. Esmee sits on the sofa with her legs tucked underneath her thighs and her thumb scrolling through her phone.

The dawn of a New Year leaves me emotionless, for there is nothing for me to look forward to. Not even a Happy New Year text from Zac or the prospect of graduating high school in mere months, because I don't know what to do. The world is moving passed me before my very eyes. And I don't want it to. I want it to stop. I wish the New Year would never come.

I stand up and exit the living room to escape the heat of the fireplace and the voices on the TV. I don't know where to go because it's not my house so I sit on the bottom step of the stairs, away from anyone's view. I think about going to the bathroom but then I'd have to leave my wine on the stairs. And it only has to take one of the tipsy adults to knock it over and spill red wine on the beige carpet.

Esmee appears in the threshold of the door leading to the lounge. "Are you okay?" she says, and she lowers herself beside me.

I shrug. "How'd you know I was here?"

"No-one takes a glass of wine to the bathroom," Esmee says, and I smile.

"Right."

A pause follows. I watch Esmee check the time on her phone. There are only five minutes until midnight.

"It's been a strange year," I say. I take a sip of my wine. I don't even like red wine, really.

"It's been a shit year," Esmee says, and I don't protest. "But you were the best part of it."

I look up.

"Don't be so surprised," Esmee says. "Where would I be without you? Dead, probably."

"But I didn't even know..."

Esmee trails the rim of her glass. She outstretches her legs and crosses one ankle over the other. "You made me feel like I could act like myself," she says. "I don't even care about what happened with Jake. You always think that you're the one asking for help from other people, yet you don't even know how much you help me."

I hold a hand to my forehead and turn my head to the side to face Esmee. "Stop it," I say, but that makes Esmee smile.

"No, I'm being serious," she says. "You saved me."

I knock Esmee gently on the shoulder, unable to contain my smile. "You're going to make me cry," I say, and Esmee laughs.

"Stop worrying about graduation," Esmee says. "And what happens after graduation and what you're going to do after graduation. Do you think any of us know what we're going to do when we're older? Just focus on senior year."

I don't reply. I simply nod, as if her words have sunken into my brain at all.

Jennifer appears from the living room. "Come on," she says. "It's one minute until midnight!"

Esmee and I exchange glances and we stand up and follow Jen back into the lounge. Everyone's gathered around the TV, on their feet. Mrs Jackson hands me a glass of champagne and I set my half-drunken red wine on top of the mantelpiece.

I think about Esmee's words. How can I simply think about the next few months when my future's at stake? I look at Michele and I look at Jennifer, and I wonder where Chad is right now. If I go to college, will I even get the job I want? And if I don't go to college, do I erase any chance of getting a job at all?

Do I even know what I want to do? No, so how do I stand a chance in choosing what to do?

"Ten...nine...eight...seven..." the voices of my friends and family echo around me but my voice box has me choked to say anything. "Six...five...four..."

My heart pounds in my chest.

"Three...two...one..."

Fireworks explode on the TV screen. Music plays through the speakers. Cheers by the people around me turn into hugs. I find myself enveloped into Michele's arms, then Jennifer's, then Mr and Mrs Jackson, then my parents, then Esmee's.

I realise falling without a parachute. Everyone else knows where they're going to land but all I can think about is whether it's going to hurt when I hit the ground.

I set my alarm at 2:00am. I've woken up to publish this chapter and now I'm going on holiday for 2 weeks. You're welcome.

Because of my lack of knowledge concerning WiFi, updates are on standby. No, this is not me taking a hiatus because I will still be writing. If you're also reading the rewritten version of Gangs and Roses, this status applies to that story as well.

A social media update too: I'm in a vlog! @TimeyWimeyWriter vlogged our day out in London and she's put it up on YouTube if you guys wanna check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2tPjvzuHvk

I'm in it! There's a 'Sisters' reference in the video too. Comment if you spot it!

@Leigh_ is also organising a Wattpad meet-up in London between the 15th and 22nd of August. If you're interested in going, PM her! (I'm pretty sure I'm going to be there if that sways your motive).