You Changed Us

Words are false idols

30 March, 2022

We were supposed to have a celebration today, to mark the decade milestone completed by your company and the mark of new era for your business. It did happen.

I wore the pendent you gifted me on our 1st anniversary. Satisfied of my appearance, I made my way to you in the hall. "How do I look?" I asked, smile plastered on my face to show my happiness.

You phone dinged before you could reply to me, and a small smile appeared on your face. The constant buzzing, pinging, and flashing lights were a familiar backdrop in our relationship, because of your busy schedule. But these constant investment of your time in others when I am left as a spectator in my own relationship tinged me.

"Jungkook?" I asked again, pain was sort of audible in my voice. And you finally looked at me, "You look good. Now let's go, we can't be late" you gave a forced smile and moved towards the exit. I didn't extend the conversation seeing your utmost disinterest.

The party was supposed to be for our family and friends, or so I thought. But as I sat in the corner, it became painfully clear that I was an outsider in my own circle of friends. I met everyone after a long time, but it was just a minute of happiness.

I didn't know if everyone forgot the laughter and memories, we all had together? 

Or was it the new addition to our group, Jungkook's secretary?

I couldn't help but notice how effortlessly she captivated everyone's attention, including yours. It felt as the time slowed down, and my heart sank as I saw your eyes light up with genuine joy at her presence.

As I saw you both share stories of your time together in the office, I could feel a pang of jealousy growl at me. Everyone in the room, including you, have seemed to forgot my presence as you all were intrigued to know more about her.

I couldn't help but notice her expressions while laughing along with you. I know, I am not suppose to feel that way after all those years of trust we've build together, but it felt like you both are just meant to be.

The day ended with a brief greetings after the end of the celebration. It was a blast, both literally and metaphorically. Yet, the uncertainty ate away at me, leaving me vulnerable and question everything. I longed for reassurance, for a sign that I still held a special place in your heart.

Can I just let this feeling eat me up? Something is gnawing at my peace of mind, I find myself caught in a loop of analyzing every possibility and dissecting details to a level that can feel exhaustive, but i don't know if it is really my mind playing games with me or something is really wrong.