One for Three

Chapter 55

I continued to sit at the table, scribbling aimlessly on a piece of paper, while my thoughts kept circling around the conversation with Kaori. The words she had said earlier still echoed in my head.

"He'd rather share me than never see me again..." Her words seemed to burn themselves into my mind, and he had actually done it without a single discussion. Mamoru and Seiya. Diamond had never let me down, even though he had plenty of opportunities to do so.

I felt the truth in Kaori's words. The fear I had seen in his eyes back in Osaka was real. He was afraid for my safety, hence the bracelet and then Haruka. He had even shown up at the hospital, despite not being in Japan at the time.

I began jotting down more bullet points on the paper, organizing my thoughts and feelings. I would definitely need another conversation with Kaori. The longer I stared at my notes, the clearer it became that Kaori might be right. In his own strange, twisted way, he seemed to care about me. Whether it was love, I couldn't say, but in hindsight, I realized he had always been there. Whenever I needed him.

The night of the Winter Gala... when Seiya... I would have certainly frozen if he hadn't found me. When Yaten went to the press, he reacted so quickly and got me out of the line of fire from the reporters that I could hardly realize it. Damn, he even took me to the Philippines to ensure my safety. All these actions must mean something, right? Or did he do it just to ease his conscience about Saphir?

"You mean something to me." That was the most emotional thing he had ever said to me. But it was far from "I love you." Doubt and confusion spread like a storm within me. How could a sane man share a woman he supposedly loved with two other men without any resistance? It made no sense. Either Kunzite was right, and he was simply an idiot, or he truly didn't care. At this point, I could believe either.

Even when I told him I had chosen Seiya, there were no visible emotions... Sure, he threw me into the water, and then we had damn good sex. But there was no sorrow, no anger... just that poker face I was currently despising. If there were truly feelings, why had he ignored me for the past five months? Why didn't he even turn around and look at me at the funeral?

I slammed the pen onto the table. None of this made sense. Yes, he watched over me whenever he could, but otherwise, it was always about his fun and himself.

I certainly wouldn't take the blame that he felt so bad because of me. I took a deep breath and tried to organize my confusing feelings again. I needed to figure out what I truly wanted and how I would proceed with this situation. But I also needed answers.

I took out my phone and pondered for a moment. Call Diamond. I pressed the buttons on the phone and waited as it rang. Twice, then I ended up on the familiar voicemail. Another futile attempt. Next attempt: call Haruka.

"Oh, Moonface. Is your visitor gone already?" Haruka's voice sounded on the other end of the line.

"What was that, Haruka? You can't just show up with her at my apartment!" As often lately, she got the full brunt of my anger.

"Why not? If anything, she's your only chance to get to the boss. You should be grateful rather than angry," she replied calmly.

"Don't tell me how to feel..." I countered, even though I didn't exactly know what I felt or what I truly wanted. Oh, everything had become so complicated.

"I've forwarded you her number. Anything else?"

"No, but warn me next time if you bring surprise guests."

"Okay, maybe see you later."

I stared at the display, a new contact: Kaori Prince. I pondered whether I should write to her already and if so, what. I started a message only to delete it again.