One of a million stories

PROLOGUE

Hi guys, I hope you enjoy this story. It will bring you to tears and it will also bring you to joy. I am a firm believer in happy endings and so I hope Lila will get hers. You will get to discover with me if she does...

XO

Have you ever wondered to yourself; Why am I here? What is the purpose of my existence? How am I supposed to live my life?

I ask myself these questions every once in a while and I still don't know. There have been a thousand answers but not one has been 100% correctly. So let me tell you the one answer that I live by. It's everything; You being there in that exact place in that moment, your existence and purposefulness', you are supposed to live your life however the hell you want.

Do not worry if you are not there yet. Some get there earlier than others, some never get there, but that's alright. Either way, every one has a story to tell. It's the story of how they got to be. There is a whole story that comes before, and one that comes before, and then another one and another. Some of those stories matter more then others, or so they say. But in the end, everybody has a different taste, in food in, in drinks and in stories. So don't worry, your story matters to someone out there and I would love to hear it.

You may now wonder to yourself, what is this writers story? Well, here it goes.

18 years old

Tears streaming down my face. Screaming inside my head, gasping for air. As I stand under that shower, in the green bathroom I know I'm probably never going to shower again, I let everything go. The fear, the anger, the pain, it has to go out. It has to leave one way or another because if it doesn't I will get consumed by it. My mind keeps going over the words. You have to choose, you have to choose, you have to choose. For as long as I can remember I had feared those words. Now they were spoken out loud and the fear had doubled, if not trippled. With every minute, every day those words hurt more and more.

Forgiveness is something that is hard to do. I believe it is ten thousand times harder when you have to forgive yourself. One thing I did know by then is that if you feel remorse, if you know you have to forgive, you can't be a totally bad person. I had to choose and so I did. Every single day since then I have wondered if the other path would have been a better choice. But I guess I'll never know.

I try and find my anchor point, because I know I have to if I want to be able to get through this. So I picture her face, I breath her name and I repeat the mantra in my head; the sun, the moon, the truth. It's silly, I got it from a stupid tv show I watched when I was younger, but it almost never fails me. After a while of doing this my head get's clearer and I can breath again. I dry the tears and take my towel to dry me of. Trying to think of nothing I go through the motions almost like a robot and and I hope, I hope someday it's going to be a better day.

Just so you all know, this "flashback" is one of a few throughout the story. Please keep on reading because maybe you don't like this part, but the majority of the chapters are way more happy and like the description of content.