Story by astronomist
Review by Coco_da_cat
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Blurb
You die. Game over? Not quite. Welcome to the Afterlife Crucible. Every millennium, lost souls battle for a second shot at life.
Forget everything you thought you knew about the afterlife. It's not pearly gates and harps - it's a ruthless gauntlet dreamed up by bored gods with a sick sense of humour.
Your regrets become weapons, your sins are armour, and your secrets?
Just ammo for your rivals.
This is a no-holds-barred war where only the most devious spirits get to breathe again. You'll face nightmares that make Hell look like Disneyland, and opponents who'd sell their own mothers for a chance to win.
Ready to fight for your life... after death? I sure as hell wasn't.
There I was, barely keeping my head above water, when some prick decided to punch my ticket early. But let's face it - my chances of winning are slimmer than my ex's conscience.
Who am I? Jane Doe.
Just another dead girl in a sea of corpses... a junkie, a fuckup, a waste of oxygen.
Or so I thought...
Link to story ➼
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𓋼 Review 𓋼
𓋼 Cover/Title 𓋼
5/5
The cover is eye-catching and matches the title well. It looks well done, but not too crowded. The title will likely lead to quite an interesting read, which does well for a first impression!
𓋼 Grammar 𓋼
5/5
The grammar is well done as I didn't notice any grammatical errors in the chapters.
𓋼 Hook/Blurb 𓋼
9/10
Starting with the topic of the afterlife and showing that it's quite a crazy adventure gives signs of an exciting read. It also introduces a form of conflict with Jane in the first paragraph, and conflict is always a good tool to use as a hook. Jane seems to have some pop and is different from your average character. We get a glimpse of her narration, and introducing the idea of a game show, one that has many faces and a much-desired prize can allow the reader to make assumptions about it and the main character. Saying that her name is "Jane Doe" is also quite interesting, because it can lead to many inferences about her character, or if how her life played out correlates with the name.
My one issue with the blurb is the swearing. I don't have a problem with swearing, and even though it may be part of her character, too much seems excessive and can lead a reader away.
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Datura Reviews
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