Masked Feelings | Walty

3

...

I was sitting on my bed. Walter was having dinner in the dining room but i told him that i was a little sick so I can't eat. Even though he insisted a lot for me to come and eat something, I didn't.

It wasn't all a lie though. I was feeling sick. I didn't know why, exactly. Everything was happening on top of each other. I felt fragile. Holding my tears every hour of the day was so hard. Acting happy like there was nothing hurting me at all. I didn't know for how long could I hang on. I couldn't take it anymore.

While I was lost in my thoughts, a ringing sound distracted me. I held my phone and turned it on to see who was calling. It was my mother. It shocked me to see her calling me. What did she want?

My mother never really cared about me. All her wanted was that my grades to be the highest. She was not the worst mother, i guess,  but never the best.

She never take care of me. When I get hurt, she doesn't care at all. So I learned to take care of myself in a very young age. I didn't know if she loved me in heart. Well if she did she would show it, wouldn't she?

"Hi." I said answering the phone

"Henry, I heard the semester is coming soon. We won't be home at that time. You will need to stay in Hillerska in the semester, too. I called you to tell you that. Actually, I was just gonna text you but your sister made me call you." She said flatly.

"What? But I-"

"Shut it. How are your grades? Anything low??"

I just wanted to scream with all my might. How could she be that much reckless? How come you don't care anything but grades about your own child?

"They're all good. But I'm not, in case if you care."

"What's wrong with you, Henry? What did I ever do to you? You're so selfish that I can't even understand. That's so stupid. I wish you were like your sister. Anyway, be careful with your grades or else I won't be that kind to you next time." She madly said and then hung up the phone.

Why the fuck my mother couldn't love me? What have I done that she hates me that much? I always tried my best to get her attention. But she always ignored me. And that hurts a lot.

A tear rolled down from my eyes. I could feel my heart burning.

Suddenly, I heard my phone ringing again. It was my sister now. She was the only one who cares about me in the family. At least for a few years. But before that, her attitude was just like my mother's. I can't blame her about it though. She was just a teenager. But as she grow up, she understood that her behavior to me was totally wrong. I think she still feels guilty about the past. But I don't mind it. Past is past.

"Wassup?" I answered her call with my voice cracking.

"Hen, I'm so sorry about mother! Trust me I tried my best to make her stay at home for the semester but she didn't listen to me. I'll have to go to the uni so I also won't be home, you know. I wish I could.. So, I thought maybe you can stay at Walter's if they're available? Insteaf of staying in Hillerska, all alone. At least maybe you can have some fun with him, what do you think?"

"It's okay sis, not ur fault. And thanks, I'll think about it."

"Hey..your voice tells me you ain't fine. You can always call me and tell everything what's bothering you, Hen. Well I know I can't open up ur calls every time, because of how hard I study, but I can call you back whenever I'm free. And never forget that you have Walter around you, too. He really cares about you."