You Sick Fuck (666 LUCK)

[1] S: Perfect

Perfect.

Sea stares, blankly at his reflection in the mirror, that was him...always perfect Sea – not so perfect now – he cannot comprehend – he was always raised to be perfect, never making a mistake in his life, never did anything to disappoint his parents. The brilliant and flawless Sea Tawinan, honestly, as a child he wanted to be just like his father, he has always wanted and wants what’s best for Sea. As all parents wants for their children, only the best, his mother says. Some may say he’s ungrateful, privileged or a spoiled sport – corny – and as a teenager he can say he was, as a teenager he can say he knew what he needed in life and what he was going to achieve.

But now...

Now, he doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him in the mirror...maybe, just maybe he strayed too far from the man he thought he knew. Or is that a good thing? He doesn’t need him, he was being true to himself, he loves himself and he put Sea first, he deserves it after all he’s been through. Sighing as he lay down on the bed, closing his eyes, his fingers caress the almost cold sheets...almost the way he does, he needed to forget him, his scent, his voice, his love...Sea admitted to himself he loved him – yes, loved – he can’t ever see him again. Sea does not want to hurt him, he had done that already and hopefully, one day, he can find it within himself to forgive Sea or he can find courage to forgive himself. Sea never thought he was worthy of him. He was Perfection. Even though he didn’t believe it, Sea saw so much more in him than he saw in himself in his entire life.

For a long time before Sea met him, he loathed himself, he was disgusting...did all those horrible things. And for what? He does not know, he believes he did it for recognition and hope.

Hope?

In hope that it would just stop and he can rest, that they could find some sympathy for a child, so young and innocent. He never knew something so precious and treasured could easily be taken away so greedily, leaving one so broken, only filled with self-loathe and guilt. The only question there was, “Why?”

There’s never an answer to that one.

Why are people the way they are?

Why am I this way?

Why me?

God, he snorts at himself, he sounded like a crazy person. He does not have an interesting story actually, he just hoped for more than he was given, emotionally, not materialistically. Of course for someone like him, that is far too much to ask for, end of his sob story – less likely than not – let’s start from the start of a this, wallowing and self-pity.

This is Tawinan Anukoolprasert, otherwise known as Sea.

So, now, you ask...why is all this information needed? It is because now you see he is not perfect, neither are you. He may need to say more, you need not to hear here.

Perfect.