Cancer.
Or, in medical terms, Glioblastoma. Fancy.
Basically, there’s a tumor eating away at Sea’s brain, and he can see it, just there in black and white, a small part of his frontal lobe consumed by a white clump... glioblastoma, grade four brain cancer...it’s common, it’s early, it can be removed... according to the doctor, they caught it early, with chemotherapy it will all go away, unless they do surgery. “Chemo,”
Sea stops the doctor in his tracks, he looks between them both, Jimmy and Sea. “Sea, this will be a longer process, painful and stressful, are you ready for that?”
“Yes.” He nods at him, stunned by the fact he’s addressed him by ‘Sea’ instead of ‘Mr. Anukoolprasert’ as he did previously.
Jimmy slips his hand into Sea’s and pry his eyes away from the doctor to look at Sea. “Don’t you want to think about it for a bit?” Jimmy asks.
“No, thinking takes time...I don’t have time.” He says, softly, pulling his hand away from Jimmy’s, putting it in his own lap – was it always this cold in this room? – he ignored the hurt on Jimmy’s face. “This is what I want to do.” The doctor nods. Sea had already accepted the fact that he will die, he has to die anyway, just sooner than he anticipated, he could buy himself some more time with Jimmy if he did this.
Time.
More time.
Not enough time.
“You’re okay,” Jimmy says to him, Sea’s eyes flicker as Jimmy’s voice stops his train of memory, after for what felt like an eternity of watching him stare at the ceiling fan in their room.
Sea smiles, not looking at him. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Jimmy doesn’t answer, he just watches Sea, who stays silent, swallowing, he turns his head towards Jimmy. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He asks again, frowning this time, his voice cracking at the end, Jimmy slides off the chair and crawls over to the bed and kneels beside it, he holds Sea’s hand, pressing it to his lips but not kissing it.
“You would be.” He murmur, his words muffled by his hand, his eyes searching Sea’s face as a tear slides down the side of Sea’s face, he doesn’t wipe it though.
“I would be.”
“Yeah,” Sea sighs, he turns to Jimmy fully, clenching his fingers around Jimmy’s, who just gives him a small smile. “I am always going to be here, you know.”
“Unfortunely.” he grins, Jimmy nods, Sea puts his hand on his head, petting Jimmy’s hair. They’ve both grown out their hair, Sea thinks Jimmy looks domestic, they barely work anymore, Sea hasn’t worked in over a year, Jimmy did fanmeet for his late show but he mostly just works at the clinic and stays out of the public’s eye. He tries to be with Sea as much as possible, even though Sea tells him he is free to go on as he please, he’s quite stubborn, he likes to look after Sea... “I don’t want to go back that.” Sea pouts his lips, Jimmy’s heart clenches painfully in his chest, he shakes his head.
“Neither do I.”
He’s...okay.
He’s worried that it may catch up with him.
He’s worried about
Cancer.
YOU ARE READING
You Sick Fuck (666 LUCK)
Hayran Kurgu[JIMMYSEA] "I'll be here," Jimmy whispers desperately, pressing his lips to Sea's temple, like he can somehow ease the pain that's blooming there, but he can't make the pain stop, and no matter how hard he tries he can't make Sea better.
