End.
[Two Months Later]
Jimmy knows it’s coming. He’s been coming a long time, and quite frankly, he’s had more time with Sea than he ever thought he’d get since the day he was diagnosed with cancer, and he should be thankful but instead he’s just mad, mad because he doesn’t want to lose Sea and he gets mad because Sea can’t remember a damn thing anymore and one of these days he’s going to wake up and forget Jimmy’s name and that’s it, Jimmy thinks. This will be the last straw, and he can’t face Sea’s death not knowing who he is, not remembering every detail, every night they spent tangled together, every morning looking at each other over breakfast, every show with the ‘adrenaline coursing through their veins and love in their hearts,’ they made together and–
Fuck you. Jimmy can’t do that. Fuck you.
It doesn’t end with a bang like Jimmy was preparing for. It’s a whimper and a soft, gasping sigh, Sea’s frail chest rising one, two, three more times and then everything is still, as if the earth had stopped spinning on his axis. Somehow, knowing it was coming doesn’t make it any less painful. If anything, it makes things worse — as if every place Sea has touched is burning, the flames greedily licking his hot skin. It takes him a long, long time to move, and even longer to extricate himself from Sea because he’s trying to be careful. So, so careful – don’t wake Sea, don’t wake Sea, he thinks. His fingers tremble as he dials the number — he’s memorized it at this point, he’s been ready for weeks — and his voice cracks a bit as he explains the situation to the operator. Sea looks fine, at least - less tired, with his mouth closed. He looks like a child again. Jimmy hopes he won’t suffer anymore.
When the paramedics finally arrive, Jimmy is running trembling fingers through Sea’s hair, just the way he likes it - he liked it, he reminds himself, feeling another scrap of his sanity crumble to the carpet - and it looks almost normal. Almost.
After they take Sea away, Jimmy sits on the edge of the sofa, shaking hard and gripping his knees as he sinks so hard into himself that he will never see Sea again and has already punched the wall bare before his reason can stop it. Only two weeks later, when he wakes up cold and alone in bed, does he remember the letter. The fucking letter. He almost dies tripping over his own feet as he makes his way to the dresser, pulling out the envelope and clutching it desperately to his chest, his head tilted to the ceiling and for the first time since Sea died he feels something. Not a good something, but something nonetheless.
His hands are shaking so hard. He’s afraid to even look at it, afraid because this is the last piece of Sea he has. It’s not true, really, because he has all the clothes, pictures of Sea, his shows forever, his phone and everything, but somehow he seems to be the final nail in the coffin.
Jimmy’s dry expression gives way to a choking sob as his eyes land on the front of the envelope: two crudely drawn stylized boys, holding hands with a lopsided heart between them, ‘JS FOREVER!’ scrawled in the centre. Next to it are what appear to be the two so-called stick figures holding hands and Jimmy can’t decide whether to laugh or cry harder. Maybe both.
Maybe this is the...
End.
YOU ARE READING
You Sick Fuck (666 LUCK)
Hayran Kurgu[JIMMYSEA] "I'll be here," Jimmy whispers desperately, pressing his lips to Sea's temple, like he can somehow ease the pain that's blooming there, but he can't make the pain stop, and no matter how hard he tries he can't make Sea better.
