invisible string ✓

eighteen

• ADVIKA •

As I was done explaining about You Belong With Me book, the mails, Aadya, and my transition to his universe and the vice versa, he wore an unbelievable look. As I realised that I was reaching the end of my monologue, I ended it with an, “I know you must be shocked. I know you're in love with me. But… Before making a decision, remember what I said.”

Ishaan, blinking incessantly, sighed through his mouth, looked around his house, realising that it was built with descriptive words, not bricks and mortar.

I didn't what to say, but I knew that I had to wait till he responded.

And, I did.

“I love you,” he replied with his face straight, almost no expression on our faces: he was trying to decipher my mind and I was trying to decipher my mind.

Though a part of me was ecstatic about that he loved me despite all that I told him, I was afraid. And, it wasn't solely because of getting into a new relationship.

It was because of facing Harsh Mathur, who would create a hell in my life.

It was because of facing Aadya Chatterjee, who is capable of ruining her universe where he took shelter of.

It was because of Maahi Sharma, who can plan evil things for us.

It was because of Francesca Accardi, who could team up with Maahi for ruining us.

It was because of the realm of reality, which could be the biggest bitch to the guy who would potentially left his dreamland for me.

And, I didn't want him to ruin because of these people.

“Ishaan, did you get me or not? We're technically from different worlds. I don't want you to be ruined because of what's between us. And—”

“It doesn't matter, Advika.” His tone sounded as though he wanted to yell but controlling the urge. “Do you get it? You know when do I'm ruined? It's not when we fall in love. It's not when we have to face the wrath of Harsh, Aadya, Maahi, and your world? I'm ruined when I don't have you in my life. With you by my side, I can get ruined for a million times. But, I'm not ready to lose you to protect myself. And, I can't do that.”

With each words he uttered, tears of realisation and regret rolled down my cheeks that flushed out of the same.

Realisation because I knew that he was there for me, no matter what happens.

Regret because I couldn't give him a clear answer of what we wanted. I regretted that I was being a red flag, though that was not who I wanted to be to him. I regretted that I couldn't give him the trust he wanted. I regretted that I was here, as helpless as I shouldn't be.

“Ishaan, but—”

Before I could start off, he stepped an inch closer to me, his hot and rugged breath hitting off the surface of my skin as a destructive storm.

“Answer this question honestly. Do you love me or not?”

Though I urged to close my eyes out of the inability to face his rainforest green eyes that was spitting fire of love, I looked straight into them, nodded my head, and whispered, “Yes. I like you, Ishaan. But, I don't want to ruin your life in the process.”

“Fuck it, Advika!” He yelled in an out-of-character tone; us shedding tears at the same time. “I'm yours, Advika. Love me as much as you can. Break me as much as you can. I just want to be yours. You know why I call you Mia Anima, don't you?”

His “Don't you?” echoed through the room— perhaps the entire universe— as his words hit me like a thunderstorm.

I can't do it anymore. I want to be his. It's our shit, and we'll clean this together.

“Ishaan.” I managed to call his name despite the lump of emotions on my throat.

“Yes, Mia Anima,” he replied, emphasising on my nickname to tell me that he's here for me, for the millionth time.

“Tell me I'm yours.” He blinked once in an extended period unbelievably, unaware that I was in an unbelievable state as well.

“You're mine. Dusk or dawn, day or night, no matter what or when, you are mine, Advika Bansal.”

If this was a part of a book‌, I would have annotated it with a matching highlighter and pen, posted this line on my Bookstagram account, ranted on it with Aarvi and Deepti, and squealed at the line until I get over the booze of the drug of delusion.

But, then, it's real. All I can do is love him for the rest of my life.

“Advika,” he called out after pushing me out of delusion, only to wait to push inside deeper. “Can I come to your universe?”

“What do you mean?” I frowned deeper enough to create a valley between my eyebrows. “Like… We're talking about reality, Ishaan. The reality where I live on. It's not as sweet and dreamy as yours.”

“But, then, you live in that universe. What else could make it dreamier than my universe?” My cheeks flushed again, but that time, it was out of the feeling that could never be named.

“Fine,” I sighed in a way that resembled an exhale and asked, “Could you please play You Belong With Me?”

“Your wish is my command, Mia Anima. You don't have to beg to me.” The rawness in his tone turned me on and it took everything of me to suppress them down. As I knew that I was successful in it, he added, “Wait a minute. Let me pack my bags.”

I chuckled at him as he stepped away from me, leaving me to wonder how will I transit back to my universe with another person by my side.

Should I hold his hand so that my energy would pass to him and we could make it to there?

Should we transit one at a time to the universe?

I knew that holding hands could be a best plan. At least, that was how it sounded inside my head.

As Ishaan jumped in front of me with an, “I'm ready,” I asked, “Ishaan. Shall I hold your hands?”

The face that was capable of melting my stony heart developed into a smile as he accepted the offer with a nod.

“Good! Now… Let's do this thing.”

As per the plan, I lied down on the bed with him; his right hand holding me and the left one holding his bag while I played the song.

Just like it happens everytime, I dozed off with the anticipation of seeing him again in my universe.

***

One more chapter to read today, peeps...