It's so unfair! I had a chance and I unknowingly blew it. I wish I knew what was actually happening as it was happening. As if time could somehow rewind itself and wake me up. As if it could make me realize the chance I had and what I am unknowingly losing.
Now, it's too late! There was a point in time when you were right in front of me the whole time. A good heart, a gentle soul, a wonderful intelligent person. Those are your qualities that stood right in front of me. How could I not recognize it? How is it possible that i was this unaware?! It truly is unfair!
It's like I'm experiencing fate's ultimate cruelty. I never intentionally missed out, but here we are. Perhaps I should have been less conventional at that time. As you can tell, I obviously have regrets..
Perhaps it was better for you this way. Perhaps you wouldn't have really been truly happy with my restlessness, spontaneity, and my craziness. Perhaps things worked out as they should have.
But I hate that I am the one who has to bear the loss. It's so unfair! Now, all I have are my thoughts, my feelings, and time. Now all I have are my foolish daydreams. The daydreams of a teenage girl with a crush.
Is there no release? am I doomed to always suffer the consequences of my own ignorance from a different time? If I must, I must.. but I would be lying if I didn't acknowledge the unfairness of it all.
I can't lie to myself about how things played out. I must accept that I can not change the past. I am doomed to accept the consequences of my past choices. We are forever bound together but not in the way that I had hoped. It's so unfair ..
