DREAMS (DREAMS BEFORE LOVE)

MY FEELINGS

I walked over to my dressing table and I could see my Debit card on the table. I ran my hand through it and smiled as I remembered how James promised to help me and he also kept to his promise. He always goes out of his way to get things done for me just to make me happy and that's when it hits me, maybe, Linda is actually right.

FLASHBACK

"You know Serena, I have always seen you as a smart person but today I came to understand that it's just a show".

Those words really hurt me and they keep on replaying in my head.

"I thought you could figure things out but as usual,am wrong ".

I gripped hard on my debit card putting all my frustrations in it.

"You are ignorant, stupid and at the same time dumb. Your devotion to your Aborad nonesense has lead you to be confused and conflicted.

What does she really take me for? Always blaming me for whatever happens between I and James. But I kinda pity Linda for the words she received from Ella because they were all hurtful.

"Linda, you are wrong*.

Ella interfered by defending me. She stood up from the chair she has been sitting for a long time and came in between I and Linda.

"If you so much like James,why don't you date him yourself and stop pushing others ".

Linda defending me is nice but her choice of words somehow didn't stand well with me at all.

"What do you mean by that "

Linda asked not minding the intermidating aura Ella was releasing.

"What I mean is that you are been desperate. You are trying to infuse a life you couldn't have into her. Stop it and wake up from your delusion. In as much as you want them to date, the connection isn't there".

After hearing Ella's word I did feel hurt even though it wasn't directed to me. Using relationship against Linda can break her but Ella didn't stop there of course she won't.

"All this while I have watched you tell Serena how much James love her, trying to make her believe that whatever he does it's for her but have you ever thought of the opposite? What if he is doing all these because of the friendship the share ".

Ella raised her voice as she repeatedly pointed at me then back at Linda. Come to think of it, isn't she right. After listening to everything she had to say Linda walked to her locker took her and was about to leave the class but stopped suddenly.

"Can I ask you something then"

I knew the question was directed to me due to the way she stares at me.

"Have you ever bothered to ask James what he thinks of you".

Without waiting for my reply she immediately left the room and I was left with my own thoughts. What does James actually think of me.

FLASHBACK ENDS

I quickly dropped my debit card that I had been straggling since. I couldn't comprehend how I felt. I had always been confident in my control over my emotions and always had it in check but whenever it had something to do with James am retanderd confused or should I say stupid and now I can't seem to understand what am fully turning into. Having hard from both sides of my friends I didn't know who I adhere to and who I shouldn't.
It's at this moment that my thoughts was interrupted by the sound which was coming from my phone. I moved towards it and checked the callers ID only to find Linda writing boldly on it. I didn't want to pick up the call but I also want to hear her out so I did the only logic thing, I picked up my phone I clicked on accept.
There's sillience in the background. It's obvious she didn't want to talk and I didn't want to be the one to start a conversation. After like two minutes of silience and yet nothing I became annoyed.

"If you won't talk then ,why waste your time calling".

Irritation evident in my voice. I made up my mind that if she doesn't talk in the next one minute then am surely disconnecting this call.

"Rena"

As if she read my thoughts she finally speaks up but with a calm and appealing voice which is kinda of suspicious for Linda.

"Am sorry"

Came that soothing voice again. I am surprise that Linda could be this down to earth so I went on with the act even if it crossed my mind that her apology might not be sincere.

"It's okay, moreover, you are right".

That's the truth, half of the things she said were right and I wouldn't denial that even if it's hurt hearing it come from one of your best friends she still right.

"No ,am wrong, I shouldn't have laid blame on only you. James is also at wrong for what he did".

She said and sighed heavily as if she had finally dropped a heavy bag.

"So tell me,why are you suddenly apologizing cus it's unlike you to do so ".

"What do you mean? Can't I just apologize for my wrong doings ".

I rolled my eyes is she really going to act as if she doesn't know that it's her thing to not ask for forgiveness.

"okay, fine, you got me"

she finally admits that apologizing isn't here thing. How great.

"My parents are traveling and I can't stay at home all alone. So can you let me stay over for the weekend. I promise I won't do anything stupid".

I smiled . Wow, this world is a smile place.

"you came at the right time because I indeed need company but you know the rules".

I had her sigh in frustration and am also sure she rolled her eyes too.

"How can I forget, two cartoons of noodles and also bring my hardworking self along".

she said with frustration evident in her voice while I myself enjoyed it.

"That's a good girl, do come early tomorrow we have a place to go and bring your car along".

"Yes ma"
She answered and I chuckled at her childish behavior.