Shin-nae Nae

§§Chapter 16§§

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10 Years Later
I had just put Reeya and Rafel to bed. As I brought Temah closer to my chest.
The twins came 3 years after our marriage and Temah 7 years later. Helen had just left with the kids earlier this morning. They came for the holidays. It was a two week thing.
Gabriel didn't come though he was like wetin go do my steeze??😏😏😏 Mtchew.
Anyways I was tucking in the kids when they said
"Mummy mummy let's play 20 questions"
I nodded and sat down "Only for a little bit"
They asked me lots of questions and I just kept on answering you know.
Soon they started yawning
"Your last question kids. You need to sleep"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh" Reeya groaned
"Mummy where's your mummy??" Rafel asked seriously.
"Yeah mummy. Where's our Grand mummy we only get to see Grandpa not Grandma"
"What do you mean dears what about your father's parents"
They looked at me like 'We're not buying that'. And suddenly the cold weather seemed hot
"Ummm listen lovies my mummy is all the way in Korea"
"Korra??"
"No Korea and hopefully hopefully one day you'll meet her. Ok??"
"Ok Mummy"
"Good night my lovies"
"Good night mummy" I nodded kissed their heads and stood up when Reeya held my free hand.
"Mummy lemme kiss Temah's forehead"
"Ok" I bent down for her. She did.
"Thank you"
I nodded "Ok"
I stood and walked out
"Mummy" I shrieked and ran back
"Is something wrong Rafel??"
"Yes Mummy you forgot to do the right thing again"
Again?? Did these 7 year olds have any idea of what went wrong between me and my mother??
He got down and pushed the door open
"Mummy please don't close the door again pretty please"
"Right....... Sure Rafel Emm Reeya come along now to your room. Say goodnight to your twin."
"Goodnight R."
"Night R."
They giggled and did the broshake. I put off the lights and took Reeya to her room.
When I was sure both of them were asleep (with Reeya's lights on and Rafel's lights off and the doors open and other stuff like that) I brought Temah closer to my chest as we went downstairs.

Their father my husband was enjoying his TV show in the parlour while I carried Temah to the kitchen and started stress eating.
For the past 10 years no matter how hard I tried something was always there to remind me of my mother. Every single time. I breathed as I grabbed a pack of Irish potato fries and waddled to the parlour. My arm was getting tired of carrying Temah and I couldn't drop her till she was fast asleep or else she'll start an all night crying vigil.

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✓✓✓ Sampson's POV
When I saw her from my side slumping next to me with a pack of Irish potato fries I knew she was stress eating and I immediately knew it had to do with her mother.
So far so okay we've been married for 10 years and we have carefully dealt with issues without arguing but every single time it had to do with her mother we could argue for weeks and still she wouldn't admit that she was wrong!. So I did what any normal person would do. I ignored her.
She cried her eyes out for good 30 minutes. Then she entwined our hands.

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✓✓✓ Shin-nae Nae's POV
I entwined our hands and sniffled.
"You know the twins asked me about my mom today. They want to meet her."
He nodded and I adjusted.
"I know I'm wrong and I've been going about this the wrong way. But these 10 years I've come to realise that I was wrong and I I want to change. I want to fix things you know." He nodded and put off the TV then he took Temah from me gently and gestured us to go upstairs.
"Oh ok" I grabbed my empty pack of Irish potato fries and trashed it. Then I grabbed our phones as we headed upstairs. I made Temah's crib and he dropped her carefully while I crashed on the bed. He came and sat beside me and I leaned my head on his shoulder and cried some more playing with my fingers. He just kept his hand in my hair and after a while I calmed and looked at him as a maid came in with 2 glasses and 2 bottles of cold Smoov Chapman and poured it out for us then she left.
"Thank you" I breathed out and rubbed my hands together.
He stretched and got the AC remote and turned it off.
"Thank you" He nodded. He wouldn't say anything because he was avoiding a night argument. He grabbed his glass and was about to drink it.
"Sampson do you think my mother would ever forgive me??"
He paused and said
"You'll have to try"
Then he finished his drink, climbed the bed and drifted off to sleep leaving me alone with my worries.

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Some Months Later
I had made the plans and planned everything to the letter. Now I just hoped everything would work out well. A few steps away was my Mom's house. I breathed. I could do this.
After series of checks I was allowed in. Thank God I saw Sergeant Alex. He promised not to let Mom know it was me.
I was led to the parlour and just waiting here alone for 5 minutes I had prayed the most prayers of my life. I was about to give up and retire back to my hotel for the day. Cos I mean Mom's a punctuality freak. She's never late but since she's late she probably doesn't wanna see me at all. Just then Temah made a noise and when I looked up I saw Mom.
Again suddenly the cool weather seemed hot.
"Mom" I greeted
She looked younger if that's even possible.
"Mom this is Temah my third child"
She nods as Temah stretches her hands towards her. She looked at me so since my arms hurt I dumped her in her arms. And Temah seemed to like that.
"May I sit??" She nodded as a maid came in with some strawberry milk. Her favourite. Her eyes lightened up.
As we took our glasses I began
"Mom I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry that things turned out this way and I so so sorry it took me this long to realise what I should have realised a long time ago." She adjusted in her seat.
"I never knew the power of words until some things I said caused a drift between us and I didn't know how to apologise. But I'm sincerely sorry Mom I've missed you." Temah yawned and crawled towards me. I picked her up nervously. I had a bad feeling this wouldn't work out well. She hadn't said anything till now. We have just been drinking in silence for the past 30 minutes. Then she stood up and said in the most broken voice I've ever heard
"It's been so so long Karma. You have a family now you know. You're happy"
"But that's the point Mom my life is incomplete without you. You are my mother"
"No Helen is"
"Mom I-"
"Karma there is no need for us to argue about these things because I know for a fact that you meant them.
The first time you didn't mean for me to hear them and the other times you wish you could've paused to edit them."
"Mom I-"
"I get it Karma. Temah's a fine child you know. You're doing well."
I stood there in tears
"Please excuse me"
She left.
Even though I was carrying Temah she was hugging me and trying to console me in her own little way.
I had to grab my things and wear back my shades so I could muster some courage to leave.
I knew she wouldn't forgive me I had taken her sacrifices in vain. I had taken her for granted. And that had just dawned on me today so I dropped Temah at a daycare and walked to think and clear my head. It was seriously raining and I sat by the roadside and cried my heart out. I know I was wrong I know that very well and that can't be changed but I'm willing to make things better you know. Why won't she give me a chance?? I breathed
I don't deserve this.
Right??
Right????
Right!
Right?????
But I prayed a lot sincerely before coming here. Why didn't He help me??
Why?
Just why??
Do the small misunderstandings people have with their mothers always lead to more complicated misunderstandings??
How can there be a complication with a simple root cause??
I didn't know anymore I just sat down and sobbed the more. Only God knows what the future holds for me and my mother's relationship.

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Who is wrong??
Shin-nae Nae??
Her Mother??
Both??
God??
Everyone??

How did this get so complicated??
How come it was easier for her to decide between Korea and Nigeria but it's almost impossible for her to reunite with her mother due to a very minor misunderstanding??

What are we actually missing here??
Who knows??

Can this be fixed??
Is this just unrealistic??
How did we even get here??

The answers are yet to be seen and understood.
But what we do know is that both the right and the wrong are hurting and forgiveness is not as easy to do as it is easy to pronounce.
The end is just a different beginning.