i had some help | book four

chapter four

Weeks had flown by since date night had happened. Laney and Morgan worked to fins a rhythm and routine within their family life. Laney premade food on the days she had to leave and Morgan would feed her, he would also change the diapers more than before which Luna was more happy about than Laney. With his upcoming touring, the real test was just around the corner.

Laney decided that she and Luna would stay with Morgan the whole time on tour despite the whirlwind of going back and forth on it. This was the start of strengthening that bond.

As the departure day approached, Laney worked on packing and organizing for their journey ahead. The tour bus had been prepped with a nursery station and Morgan made sure that Luna and Laney had everything they needed accommodated after yelling at the tour manager.

The door swung open as Morgan arrived home from soundcheck looking excited and eager but tired. Walking in, he found Laney in the living room swallowed by suitcases she was organizing. Laney observed his physical state and couldn't help but feel a pit in her stomach, he must have been so tired.

"Almost ready?" he asked, walking over and sitting down next to her to help.

"Just about," she replied. "I can't believe we are doing this as a family now".

He cracked a grin as he observed Laney to see how she was sorting the suitcases before joining her. "Felt like just a few days ago when I brought you on stage right?" he reminisced.

She groaned, "Oh my goodness and Katie".

He couldn't help but laugh as he grabbed her hand and squeezed it, "I think this is what we need. We will take it by day. We are a team, remember?".

Laney nodded as her anxiety swarmed around her body. "I'm just worried that-".

Morgan cut her off instantly, "We'll make it work. There's nothing we can't do Lane girl".

The next day snuck up quickly and Laney had prepared Luna for the ride with some baby sleep gummies and her charged iPad. The upgrade of this bus compared to the last one was a miracle. Inside it was equipped with a nursery station and play area for Luna, a small kitchenette, and bigger bathrooms than before.

Watching their house fade out into a small dot, Laney felt the nervousness bubble in her stomach with a swarm of excitement as well. It had been a feeling she had missed. Morgan came up behind her and engulfed her around her waist.

"How lucky are we," he smiled as he rested his head on top of hers watching the house fade into a blob.

The first few days were just the adjustment period for the three of them. Between balancing Luna's schedule, her own work, and Morgan's performances she was in a whirlwind. Dressing up and being able to see Morgan perform was a magical experience for Luna who would clap along and point and scream at Morgan when he would wave over. It was a fun memory to be made until Luna would get in the habit of disrupting everyone's sleep schedule, making Laney need to resort to calling the babysitter in more often, so she could watch Morgan perform while Luna stayed on the bus.

Despite feeling bad about it, Luna was becoming a hassle and causing Morgan to become tired during shows due to waking them up. Laney spent the first few days organizing everything and making Luna's routine, trying to make it as static as possible despite the ever-changing environment.

Morgan kept to his promise from date night about trying harder and being a team. Although his rehearsals, interviews, sound checks, and shows made it difficult, he managed to pitch in help whenever he could. Each day started at 5 AM, with Laney and Morgan waking Luna up together and preparing her for the day. Halfway into that, Morgan would depart from the two to get ready for pre-show activities run by management for his daily schedule. While the bus traveled from city to city, Laney couldn't help but miss their private jet as she adjusted to the hum of the tour bus on the road.

In Kansas City, after a whining Luna kept her up all night, Laney left the show during Morgan's encore act. Morgan was performing to a sold stadium and the adrenaline of the crowd was exhilarating, but Laney was drained. As much as she tried to keep her eyes open, she could feel tired lines form on her face.

Backstage, she splashed her face with cold water as the noise of the crowd rang through her ears along with the constant hours of Luna crying. She couldn't seem to escape it all. Pacing the small backstage area as she sipped on some water, she tried to put herself at ease. The noise of the crowd filtered through the wall resulting in a muffled roar. She could tell the show was over.

When Morgan emerged from the dressing room, his face lit up from the adrenaline and thrill of Kansas City cheering him on for more. But his face faltered when he saw Laney, who was physically pale and looked horrid.

"Hey, Lane, what's wrong?" Morgan asked with concern.

"I'm just... tired," she replied, "This tour is definitely different than before because of Luna. It's a lot and I'm trying to keep myself together. You did great tonight baby". Her voice cracked and faded at the end as she looked at him.

Morgan sat beside her, his voice shifting from concern to frustration and irritation. "I'm sorry Laney. I didn't realize how demanding and tough this would be for you," he said.

"I knew it would be demanding. So don't go there with that" Laney warned him as her tone raised, "I didn't realize how worn out I would get. This is not just about me though. I'm not supposed to hold this up by myself".

Morgan's forehead vein popped as he struggled to find the words he wanted to say. "I want to provide for us to have a better life, you know that. I thought being here and making time while we were on the bus would be enough. I didn't realize you need more".

Laney's eyes flooded with tears, "I need emotional support from you too. I need you to be more involved Morgan. Luna was fussing all last night, I could barely keep my eyes open tonight and I had so much caffeine to try to stay up for tonight".

Morgan's irritation began to show. "You think it's easy for me? Every night I have thousands of people paying to watch me perform and expect my best, fans and critics. One bad move and I'm done. Yet I'm still trying to balance this tour and be with you and Luna the best I can. It's not just about you!".

Laney was clearly taken aback by his outburst as she bubbled with anger. "And it isn't just about you! I'm with Luna by myself when I could be working instead because I was at such a great place in my career yet halted that. Did you notice? No! It's not a business deal, this is our family. It's not something you sign off on and give attention to when the show is over and your manager tells you to say hi".

An unspoken resentment now filled the silence lingering temporarily in the air. The bubbled-up feelings were being poured out into the open, and nothing could be undone. Morgan shook his head and stood up abruptly, "I didn't realize how one-sided you think this is. And I'm giving all I can give right now yet it still isn't enough".

Laney's voice trembled with weakness and hurt, "I just want you to be present emotionally for us. To just understand. Is that too much to ask?". It was a question she didn't need to be answered because she didn't want to hear it.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I can't be what you both need right now. I'm doing my best yet you're making me feel like a failure," Morgan's face hardened at his realization.

Laney's heart ached at the words he spoke and the sight of him walking away. Sitting alone for a moment until security came to escort her out, she couldn't help but feel the dark cloud come back into their relationship.

Walking onto the tour bus, her eyes pivoted to the babysitter who was walking out because she got paid, leaving the three of them and security and the driver. As everyone took their places, Morgan stayed in the kitchenette talking to security with a beer in his hand, paying no regard to Laney strolling in. As she walked by and made her way into the bed, she felt more alone than ever as the dim light from the kitchenette seeped in from under the bedroom door.

She just couldn't help but feel more alone than ever before.

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Double update :)

This book is going to be a little slower for me to write & maybe even a little different! Be patient y'all :)