Boy Next (to) Door - A Harry Styles Story

"Dabullets, dabullets, dabullets."

Y/n wonders what that sound is as she walks to her new place of her residence with boxes packed with things she packed into the boxes she's carrying from her last place of residence.

"Watermelon sugar hiyah" exclaims the frozen man standing by the door (not from Frozen the movie featuring Belle and Sirbastian Day).

Y/n jumped in terrored fear into the air so high she stuck to her still-drying ceiling of the porch and managed to learn and master five flips on the way down to the ground.

"Woah there girly I didn't know my new next to door neighbour was a gymnastics" said the frozen man.

"What on the solar system are you doing next to my place of residence's front door?" shrieked y/n.

"What are you doing flipping around so close to me I could've been injured?" maintained the frozen man.

Y/n blushed so hard that her skin peeled like a sunburn - she only just laid her eyes and nose on this frozen man and he both looked and smelt like her favourite food, haggis.

Neither of them knew what to say so y/n said.

What she said was "gruhhhhh."

The frozen man stared at her with frozen open eyes unblinkingly, so open that they were red and crusty around the outside, just waiting to be licked and moisturised.

Y/n felt herself inching towards him, but pulled herself back when she realised, so as to not stick her tongue into his eyeballs.

They shared a yearning look toward each other, though quickly covered it with a sheet of paper. Y/n didn't even know this man.

He finally coughed up a lung which he'd been holding in his whole life. Wow it felt good for him to be able to breath without air.

"Well, um I have to go unpack now so"... he just kept standing there. What an ungentleman she thought. He should help her with the number of overflowing boxes that flowed through the river Nile because she had just moved from Canada to the US and removers cost a lot of money so she threw her belongings in the Nile hoping they would eventually wind up in front of her new residence in London (which they fortunately had). Such was the luck of y/n.

"Please, be my guest" said the frozen man as he broke out into song from the Beauty and the Beast. He had a lovely, scratchy, tuneless voice that made her think of her dear late great-great-great-grandfather that she never knew.

On that note, she asked him to introduce himself as he was being awfully awful and not providing any explanatory sentence and/or paragraph to explain his awfulness. She didn't need to deal with this awfulality especially after her first of ten future treks from the Nile.

"You seriously don't know who I am?" asked the frozen man with increduality.

"No, though your eyes look... delicious" y/n whispered, but quickly covered it by coughing in his discarded lung to put next to three of her own.. She actually said, "I do not know who you are, sir, and you are very large in the head department, sir, if you think people should know who you are, sir. Sir."

"Woman you must be very small in your head department if you do not know who the mightiness of man I am." he growled like a basic bitch abuela swan.

She stared at him incredulously, wishing he would remove himself from the door of her new place of residence and possibly move to her old place of residence so she would not have to see him with her eyeballs or noseballs any more.