Relentlessly Yours [Completed]

Chapter 31

Kai, Age Twenty Seven
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I won another race.

Signed a bunch of authographs.

Got photographed with a bunch of fans.

Signed a couple more million-dollar endorsement deals.

And yet, I was dead inside.

I no longer feel the usual rush in my veins when I'm behind the wheels. I no longer felt anything when I won, crossing the final lap in first place.

And to be completely honest, I only won because I didn't even care about safety any more. I speed up on full throttle, almost getting into an accident multiple times and despite Markovic yelling in the earpiece to call me out for being suicidal, I still didn't listen.

My life didn't feel like mine anymore. Every breath I breathe was pure torture. My world is falling apart. Dark without her in it.

Madalas na napapanaginipan ko siya. She haunted me in my dreams which is the exact same reason why I loved sleeping nowadays.

I missed her smile. The way she'd look at me with love in her beautiful hazel brown eyes. I missed her voice. I missed watching her paint with as she bit her lower lip in concentration. I missed watching her bake. I missed talking to her. I just missed her.

I ache to touch her again. Kiss her. Hug her and chain her to me so she'll never leave me again but I can't.

I didn't deserve to hope. To think of her. I didn't have the right.

And yet, here I was.

Watching her again.

Sinubukan ko pero hindi ko kaya ang hindi siya makita. I was being selfish again but I couldn't help it. Nakakahinga lang ako ng maayos kapag nakikita ko siya kahit na sa malayo lang.

I followed her and Cal in Africa just a month ago. It was a long flight but was all worth it when I saw her smile and laugh with the children. Bakit hindi ko siya dati sinamahan doon noon? I would've witnessed how happy she was spending time with the people there.

And then I got in the same plane as them back to Paris a week ago. I watched her walk on the streets with her sunglasses on and a carefree look on her gorgeous face. Somehow, despite her losing her memories, my Calliope still gravitated towards her favorite color. She'd been wearing them in a daily basis as usual.

Napakaganda niya. Para sa kin, siya ang pinakamagandang babae sa boong mundo. Always was and always will be.

Madalas din siyang sinasamahan ng kambal niya kung saan siya magpunta sa unang dalawang buwan na sinusundan ko siya. He almost caught me a few times but I was quick to evade him.

I also know about her newfound friendship with Leyton's sister, Silver. I saw them spending time together a few times in the span of two weeks. My Calliope's sudden interest in fashion made them bond.

She started going to theatrical plays, too. She went to a couple piano recitals, and began attending pastry classes, developing a new style of her own.

I noted every change, every development that is happening in her life and tucked them in my brain like a diligent student.

Fortunately for me, hindi ko pa siya nakikitang may kasamang lalaki maliban kay Nate at kambal niya.

My mind went back to when she implied that she had been 'sleeping' with other men, telling me she wouldn't have forgotten if she slept with me because she thought I was hot.

Goddamn it all to hell. The thought of her with someone else burned but I just have to suck it up, don't I? Hindi ko kontrolado ang mga naging kilos niya sa mga buwan na hindi niya ako naalala. I can't hold her actions against her.