3651 || Seungin (Eng)

0.4 | fifteenth day

19/04/2022

Hi Seungmin

My application was not accepted. Because I was a rookie. But I will still work and try to get that job. I wish it was accepted, at least I could forget you more easily by doing something I love..

Today, exactly 15 days have passed since the day we broke up. I really miss you sooooo much. But I made a new friend! His name is Changbin!! He treats me very well, but don't worry, I would never replace him with you!! I wouldn't change you with anyone, my angel!

By the way, I found out who the person next to you was! His name is Chan, you already know. How sweet he is a pediatrician!! But his ex-boyfriend left him :(( oh you probably wonder how do I know this? His ex-boyfriend who broke up with him was Changbin, with whom I made a new friend!! Isn't such a big coincidence?? So strange!! But the reason why Changbin broke up with Chan is also verrryyyy strange, I was sooo surprised when I first heard it!

Changbin loved Chan, but Chan didn't love him in the sense of love. In fact, he was obsessed with him. He wanted to hide him from everyone and not show him to anyone. He just wanted him to belong to him and only him. Isn't this a little scary, Seungmin? I hope he doesn't treat you like an obsessive asshole either, but he's your friend anyway, right?

Binnie hyung treats me very well Seugmin, he is always there for me, as if he understands what I'm going through, and he tries to make me smile when I'm sad, even though it doesn't work sometimes, he tries.. Aah! I accidentally called Changbin hyung Binnie.. you would say this is disrespectful to my elders, right Seungmin? In fact, if you were here with me right now, you would tell me 'you shouldn't call your hyungs such names'. I wish you were here... Actually, should I confess something to you? The reason I put exclamation points while writing these is to make myself look happy. But I'm not happy, Seungmin. I cry every day in either Felix's or Binnie hyung's arms. They hug me, and I cry even more.

Today has been 15 days since the only good thing in my life left. But on day 15, I think I found someone who can love me and stop your absence from making me sad. Sometimes I want to replace you Seungmin, I want to fill your absence with the presence of my Binnie hyung, but it doesn't work, I can't do it... Something is stopping me but I want to do it so much...

The crying boy left a huge gap on the page, wiped his tears and looked out the window.

Seungmin, didn't you love me? Why did you lie to me. Why did you say wrong things about your family? Why did you break up with me saying your family was homophobic? Why did you kiss Chan? Why did you give Chan a big hug, knowing that he was in the cafe next to my house and there was a chance I would see him? Why did you see me as a fool? Why didn't you love me, Seungmin?..

See you tomorrow Seungmin, maybe..