3651 || Seungin (Eng)

0.2 | the worst day of my life

04/04/2022

hello diary,

   I think I'll write a little longer today. And from now on I will hate spring... My heart hurts so fucking much. It doesn't stop aching every day from now on. I guess Seungmin doesn't love me, he probably loves me, right? He told me he wanted to break up. Seungmin is breaking up with me, I'm breaking up with Seungmin... why does it hurt my heart? And it hurts so much... Why?

This morning he invited me to the cafe. I went and sat next to him. He said we had to break up because of his family. His family was very religious people, and because of that, they are extremely homophobic, and I think it's ridiculous.

A person cannot choose who they fall in love with, right? So why do people hate some innocent love so much? Seungmin said that they hated him just because he was attracted to his own gender instead of the opposite. Seungmin cried, laid on my shoulder and cried, telling me how bad people his family were... His family threatened him. I couldn't even calm him down, and I couldn't cry with him too. I was just looking at him with my broken feelings.

But why would you want to separate a person from the one they love? Isn't love something we can't control? So why do people act like we choose to love same gender?

Then I left the cafe and called Felix hyung to talk to him as usual. I hope Seungmin escapes from his family and comes back to me. I can't bear this cruel world without my Seungie...

You can't even know how much I want him, diary..

I want to hold his hands tightly, kiss his lips little by little, say I love you, hug him so much...

Diary I think I'll see you as Seungmin from now on. I will write here as if I'm talking to him. Because I need this... Maybe it would be much more comfortable to see you as Seungmin since I don't have someone I can express my feelings to comfortably..?

See you tomorrow diary.(⁠っ⁠˘̩⁠╭⁠╮⁠˘̩⁠)⁠っ