GUILTY AS SIN? ‚ kalynn koury

1. the problem

"HOW do i look?" Germany asked, trying to ineffectively fix her hairstyle. She's been in front of the mirror for at least 15 minutes now, each minute noticing something new wrong in her appearance.

She's getting ready for a small shopping spree she has decided on, since her boyfriend cancelled plans again. Slowly shifting onto picking clothes, she scans through the closet carefully. She picks out a white baby tee with a small navy text on it, pairing it with low-waisted jean shorts. Basic but a little cute, she thought.

Dave couldn't bother to take a single look, he was too busy on his phone trying to promote his album's deluxe version. Germany was sick of the feeling that he cared more about his music than her. After all, they are dating. He although, is simply a rapper who is always angry and blames everything on her. Not to mention that he appears perfect on social media and has a bunch of girls lusting after him.

"You look normal," he answered nonchalantly, his eyes still on his phone.

She sighs at the reaction.

„You didn't even look. Could you please get off your phone for a moment and spend at least some minutes with me before I leave?" Germany requested, shyly. She knew she couldn't be too demanding with him or he would burst.

"Oh my god, do you ever shut up? I'm trying to post on Instagram but it won't load, and you just keep yapping. I couldn't care less about what you look like at the moment, I just need to promote this album. Just leave already and stop being such a bitch!" Dave snapped. Oh how she hates when he does that.

Feeling her eyes become glossy as she holds back her tears, she quickly puts on her white shoes, a little bit too small for her already. She has had them for long, but now they just make her heels bleed if she walks for too long. Germany picks up her bag and headphones, leaving the apartment. She closes the door behind gently, fighting every urge to just slam it as hard as she can.

Part of Germany is glad it only got to shouting. There were moments where Dave would get easily provoked and take it out on her, in ways that she does not even want to think about right now.

Germany puts on her headphones to shut her thoughts off. Music has become an escape from reality to her, she has just always felt comfort with her headphones. It was like a whole another world.

The walk to the mall is only 10 minutes from her and Dave's apartment. While the car would be faster, the mall gets very busy so there would probably be no parking spots. On her way she listens to a Chappell Roan mix created by Spotify. It was really the first thing Germany noticed, but she just needed to put something on right away to avoid thinking about her boyfriend.

At the shopping centre, she just shops at a couple of her favourite businesses. After starting to get overwhelmed at the fifth store, she decided it was time to get going. Fortunately, it was still pretty bright outside, allowing her to go somewhere else, such as a coffee shop or a bookstore.

Germany checks her phone, 5:47pm. 15 unanswered messages from Dave.

She ignores the notifications. She settles on the coffee shop, deciding to go to her favourite local one. From the mall, the walk will be around 20 minutes. God, she wishes she drove instead now.

On the way, she decides to face-time her best friend, Sloane.

Sloane is Dave's sister, although they can be completely opposed at times. She's the sweetest friend Germany has had, knowing her since early childhood. Despite Sloane's kindness, she is also brutally honest. She's been onto Germany, continuously convincing her to end her relationship with Dave. Sloane absolutely despises her brother, knowing how fucked up he truly is. As much as Germany would like to agree, she just cannot let Dave go.

„You realise he's all I have, Lo. I know he can be rude at times but I think he's just stressed at the moment, you know? I mean with the deluxe of his album coming out, it can get irritating with the promoting process," Germany rambled on the phone with her best friend, on her way to get coffee.

„And you realise he's abusing you girl... Right? I know it's hard to let go but try looking at it from another person's view. They would just see a girl trapped in a relationship with an abusive, violent man. They would think you are stupid for not leaving his ass already. It's the wise thing to let go, G," she explains softly, thinking of what else she can say. „You can't keep on making excuses for his behaviour, he shouldn't even be treating you that way in the first place. I know it's hard, but try to think more about it,"

The first sentence is stuck in Germany's head. It's not that bad for it to be considered abuse, is it? He's just going through things, she thinks.

„Thanks Lo, I appreciate you trying to help me. I'll try to consider something like that but honestly I don't want to upset him. You know how he is,"

„G, this is going to be a lot, but you have to realise you're not the problem here. He gets upset because of his fucking anger issues, not because you did something. He's literally the most childish and immature person I've ever met, and the way he still has tons of girls thirsting for him is just crazy. You should check his phone sometime, now that I'm thinking about it," she discussed. „Listen, I have to go. I'll text you later tonight. Love you, G!" she added quickly.

Before Germany could say anything, Sloane had already hung up.

She checks the time, 6:08pm.

She's almost at the coffee shop, already thinking of what she's going to order. She had decided on an Iced Caramel Vanilla Swirl Latte, which she typically orders as it really cheers her up.

Entering the store, Germany slowly makes her way to the register, her head in the clouds. Suddenly, a girl taller than her accidentally bumps into her, causing Germany to fall to the icy floor and drop her shopping bag.

.•° ✿ °•.

note:

hellooo, i hope you enjoyed the first chapter! i know it can be too much in one chapter but hopefully the following ones will explain the lore more efficiently! pleaseee leave a comment if u wish to, and make sure to have a nice day! :)