The Alchemy

I can fix him (No really I can)

I've been dating Matty for almost two months now. It's been so much fun. He came to one of my shows in Nashville, and I even said, "This song is about you. You know who you are. I love you," before singing "Cardigan" on stage. He also did it at one of his shows. I think I am in love. A lot of people have commented on our relationship (like always when I officialize a new relationship), saying that I'm too good for him, that we shouldn't date, but I don't want to listen to them. They always have something mean to say about my every move.

My next show is in New Jersey, so I can spend time in my apartment in New York City and with Matty before the shows.

He should be here soon, so I finish making dinner and make sure that everything is where it should be. I made us some meatball spaghetti and cookies, two of my favorite things to make. I put the candles on the table when I see Will looking over the cookie plate.

"You can take one, but then you're going to your room. Matty should be here in a minute. We'll eat and then go to the theater. You don't have to come with us, okay?" I tell him, a bit worried he doesn't agree.

But he just nods and thanks me for the cookie before leaving.

Paine asked him to stay at the apartment with me since I didn't book a hotel. He's been an ass since Matty and I started dating. Well, he was already pretty annoying, but now it's worse. I think he doesn't like Matty. He says Matty is a bad influence because he uses drugs sometimes. I don't think it's an issue; it was a while ago, but he told me he doesn't smoke a lot anymore, just at parties and such.

I sit in one of the chairs, waiting for Matty. He is a little bit late, but I am not surprised.

I am still waiting. I look at the clock; it's already 10 pm. We missed the movie. I try to call him for the sixth time, but he doesn't answer. I begin to worry, so I knock on Will's door.

"Hey, I hope I'm not bothering you, but Matty still isn't here and isn't answering my calls. I'm beginning to worry," I say, playing with my thumbs.

Will is sitting on his bed, still fully clothed, and I think he's working on his laptop. When does he stop working?

"Do you want to go to his apartment to make sure?" he asks me.

"Do you mind?" I say, embarrassed.

-

In the car, I am nervous. I think Will understands because he takes my hand in his and lightly squeezes it as if to tell me that everything will be okay. I don't know why, but it makes me relax a little.

We park in front of Matty's apartment building, and I rush out of the car. I climb the stairs to his door as fast as I can. In front of his door, I freeze. I can feel the hair rise on the back of my neck. I can feel something is wrong. Actually, I can smell it. There is a strong smell of drugs in the staircase. I thought he had stopped.

I knock on the door. No answer. I knock again, this time calling his name,

"Matty, open up, please. I'm worried."

The door finally opens on a man with long black curls falling on his face, a three-day beard, only wearing boxers. What hit me was his eyes; they were bloodshot. It takes me a few seconds to recognize him.

"What do you want? I'm doing something right now."

"We had a date," I sputter.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. Do you wanna come in?" he says as he lets me in.

I follow him to his living room. Everything was all over the place. He offers me a seat, but I don't take it.

"I thought you had stopped."

"What? No, I lied."

"Oh, okay. I mean, it's fine... Uh, I guess... You know if you need help, you can ask me. I am your girlfriend; I care about you, Matty," I say with tears in my eyes.

"Yeah... Speaking of that, I think it was a bad idea. I don't even really like you, so..."

Stunned, I can't move or say anything. I don't even have time to respond before he tells me,

"Okay, now I am going to take some stuff, so if you could just leave me alone."

I nod and turn around, heading for the door. I can't even look back at him. It happened again. Why can't anybody love me?

I rush down to the car and burst into tears once I am inside. Will looks at me with concern, but I am glad that he doesn't say anything and drives us back home.

I waited ten years for him to be ready. He was the only one who really understood me. And now, I am all alone again.