To Take What Is Rightfully Ours

Chapter 32. Dealing With Her Absence

Note: This chapter has been brought to you by the power shortage in Ukraine and the fact that I had nothing else to do without electricity 🙃🙃

***

The first few days after Diane left were pure agony. Both Daemon and Rhaenyra didn't know what to do with themselves, full of restless energy without anywhere to truly direct it. Rhaenyra caught Daemon plenty of times looking at the sky at different times of day and just... waiting. As if hoping to catch a glimpse of Silverwing but there was none.

They lied to everyone that Diane went to Essos on some urgent business that had something to do with Dragonstone. Daemon and Rhaenyra never agreed on the specifics of that lie so the princess was pretty sure their answers might have contradicted each other but she wasn't able to worry about that at that particular moment. All her thoughts were consumed with worry for Diane.

The only ones who were told the truth about where Diane went (except the ones who already knew) were Gerardys and the High Priest of Dragonstone. Daemon flew there the next day to pass along Diane's instructions. Gerardys was sick with worry while the High Priest said he would pray for Diane's safe return, making Daemon feel just a tiny bit better.

While Daemon was at Dragonstone, Rhaenyra had to tell the children that Diane would be absent for a while. She wasn't looking forward to it but it needed to be done. Aegon was understandably upset so Rhaenyra had to give him lots of cuddles to console him. Helaena, on the other hand, did not seem to be all that affected by the news. But she was only two so Rhaenyra wasn't sure how much she understood. The princess figured that probably not a lot when in response to the news Helaena drew a circle in the ground with a stick, pointed at it, and said, 'Seven,' before toddling away. But, all in all, Aegon and Helaena took the news rather well.

The same couldn't be said about Aemond. The poor boy was inconsolable. He constantly cried and the only times he didn't cry was when he fell asleep from exhaustion just to wake up a few hours later and start crying again. Frella did her best to calm him down but nothing seemed to be working.

Rhaenyra tried to be of use but she didn't seem to be able to calm Aemond down either. And this whole situation was in no way helping the princess' already fragile emotional balance. So on the third day, while rocking the crying boy in her arms, Rhaenyra broke down crying as well.

'I know I'm not her. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,' she sobbed, hugging Aemond to her chest. There was nothing, absolutely nothing Rhaenyra could do to bring Diane back sooner or at all for that matter. And the uncertainty of it all was nerve-racking, crushing, fucking terrifying. What if Diane died there? What if Diane died and they would never know about it, helplessly waiting for her to return for the rest of their lives?

Rhaenyra didn't know how long she cried but when she finally managed to get her emotions under control, she realized that Aemond wasn't crying anymore either. She looked down and saw him looking back at her with his big, watery eyes.

'It's alright. It's alright, we will get through it,' Rhaenyra whispered, more to herself than to the boy. 'We will get through it, she will come back and everything will be alright,' she continued, rocking Aemond in her arms. 'She will come back.'

Apparently, Rhaenyra passed some kind of test because after that evening Aemond seemed to be more willing to calm down in her arms than before. He was still hard to console and it was tremendously difficult to get him to fall asleep at night but at least they were making progress. Rhaenyra kept falling asleep on the couch in the nursery when Aemond finally decided to drift off because she was just too exhausted to make a journey back to her bedchamber.

'It can't go on like this,' Daemon said one early morning after Rhaenyra spent another night on a rather uncomfortable couch. He was standing in the doorway of the nursery. 'I wish to go to sleep in my bed with my wife-'