empty promises (jeongcheol)

worthy of my tears

The day jeonghan find his boyfriend fucking another person in their bed is the day when his hear shattered to uncountable pieces.
After that Life feels fake to him , he feels like he doesn't know him self, the people around him feels like an imposter, his emotion are distance like somebody else is going through all the motion, he doesn't know what to do anymore, he badly wanna apologize for him self, for letting his guard down for failing to realize what kind of person he was actually dating, the memory of that day is still vivid in his mind, how seongcheol and the girl laughed at him, how they bittled him and called him names even now their stood his ex boyfriend laughing with the girl he cheated on with, why does he have to be the only one who have to suffer what did he ever do.
When the school corridor get empty he slowly went towards seongcheol locker to put the letter he wrote for him, yes jeonghan decided to write letter not one but few until he have noting to say to him in that day as seongcheol hoped for he will disappear from his life forever.
After school jeonghan slowly walked towards his home while trying to trace any ounce of him self in him, nowadays he is feeling like a shadow of what he used to be, he remember how bright and happy he once was but now he was just a vague existence of what he was before, even if he let other things happen, how could he let a person took who he was, how could he do that, more than seongcheol he is angry at himself, for believing those Fairy tail of true love and bullshit he have no one but himself to blame he failed his own self.
                     💫💫💫
The moment the bell rung seongcheol went towards his Locker to put away his staff which is how he find the letter inside his Locker he took out to throw it away thinking it is one of his fan who put it before something inside him stopped him, even he doesn't know why he found him self opening it "worth of my tears" he mumbled, he felt something inside of thighed
           Worthy of my tears
Darkness is surrounding me, light is something I don't see, hope is something I don't have, fear is the only thing that I feel. I am silently praying for someone to save me; I thought it got responded when he send you to me seongcheol. You pulled me out of it only to throw me to another deep darkness. You said you love me only to say you never did, you say you want me only to neglect me, you promise me a forever only to leave me saying we are over, you made me trust again only to betray me, I thought you are my light the one who will light my darkness, the pain I get because of you is unbearable, you destroyed me. They say the more you love a person the more you get hurt now I can understand it. I loved you with all my broken pieces; I give you my broken heart so you can heal it only for you to break it even more. You are my pain someone who hurt me, someone who shattered my heart. I want to hate you but I can't my heart still want you but now I am alone seating in darkness crying with sadness but are you even worthy of my tears?

"I am not" he slowly mumbled, he can feel the air around him getting  suffocating what have he done is a stupid dare and reputation worth of ruining someone life he doesn't know what he is doing anymore.
Of course he knows who this is, when seongcheol first meet jeonghan he was in a bad place, he was closed of, doesn't trust anyone and was scared of getting hurt and seongcheol tried so hard to change all of that in the end to take it all away from him will jeonghan ever forgive him?