In Memoriam ✓

Chapter Eleven: Saturn

Nina

I waited outside Reid's hospital room, toying with my bracelets. I wasn't allowed to visit on the night of the accident, because I wasn't family. But I returned today, a plan forming in my mind. 

With the past year washed away, Reid's memory of me was an empty canvas, wiped away by his head trauma. This could be my second chance at obtaining Reid's friendship. I was finally starting off with him on a clean slate, like Mallory. An even playing field. 

Unlike Mallory, I was elated. The difference was I had nothing to lose. Her misfortune was my triumph.

I knocked on the white door and entered. Reid was upright in his bed against the pillows, looking out of his window. He turned to me, looking curiously at me. I saw no sign of recognition in his eyes. My heart simultaneously leaped and crashed in my chest. "Hello." I greeted awkwardly.

"Hey," Reid said, calm as anything. "You're Nina, right? Tony showed me pictures of everyone last night. I'm still trying to learn names. But according to my recollection, you're the life of the party."

"I would answer that with a yes and no. I like parties, but I like staying at home more." I answered, because Reid used to dislike parties. I loved them. This was an equivocation on my part, but so what? No one was there to contradict me.

Reid smiled, a full blown smile that I rarely saw. He never smiled like that around me before. His optimism was contagious. "I'm exactly the same. Or I was. It's hard to tell now, because..." he trailed off awkwardly. The energy faded on his face.

I tried to help him out. "I would think of this as a fresh start. Now you have all the time in the world to find out what you like and dislike. I can help, if you want."

"That means a lot, Nina. Thank you." Reid said softly. I felt a blush rising on my cheeks.

"It's nothing. We're friends, right?" I replied tightly. Guilt clawed at my throat, stopping me from talking further.

"Right." Reid agreed uneasily. I sensed something different to him; there was an unsteadiness that I'd never seen about Reid. "Would you tell me a bit more about yourself? I want to learn everything about everyone again. Were we close before? I can easily imagine that."

Every time he asked a question like that, I saw myself standing on a forked road. To tell the truth and go back to what we were before, or to take my opportunity and change the past. I would have lied every time, if it meant that we could be friends.

The devil on my shoulder whispered to me. Choose, choose.

"We were best friends. You would tell me whatever was on your mind." I answered without hesitating. It sounded believable to me.

"Then can I tell you something now?"

"Of course, Reid."

"I know I had a girlfriend," Reid said hesitantly. My heart sank. "Mallory. How did she react to my amnesia? I don't remember seeing her yesterday."

"I think she needs time to process," I hedged. "She was very distraught, so maybe you should just let her be alone for a while? Try to heal first before you bring up situations from the past."

Reid shrugged, looking uncertain. "I guess you're right. But I feel fine, I can talk to her now."

I looked away, gritting my teeth. Leave it to Reid to brush me aside, even without remembering who I was to him. "Mallory isn't here. Nick took her home yesterday, so I assume she's with him." I said.

Reid's expression became even more confused. "Nick?"

"Our mutual friend. He's one of the group." I said with indifference. Nick had never talked too much to me either. He was much like Reid in that way. "He and Mallory are just as close as we are, to be honest."