Just a Big Mess

Chapter 3

The days that followed Travis' relapse were awkward, they both danced around the issue rather than saying anything about it. She thought they'd made some sort of breakthrough that night, but she figures Travis is just embarrassed by the whole thing and is choosing to ignore her. Oh well, with her pregnancy symptoms, Taylor's too uncomfortable to try forge a friendship with Travis during the daytime. Her sickness has become almost unbearable. Whoever invented the phrase morning sickness was a liar. Her nausea lasts all day, with several vomiting episodes. She hates it more than anything. She doesn't even have time to enjoy the idea of having a baby with how sick she's been. She had her first zoom therapy session yesterday and actually found it helpful. They didn't start off with the deep and heavy stuff, but it was nice to be able to talk about some of the things that have been plaguing her day to day. Travis still hasn't made his first appointment, and she's not sure if she should be pushing it. Therapy isn't for everyone, but she hasn't seen him find his own way to cope yet. 

Taylor woke up this morning with a raging headache, her first instinct was to take some Panadol, but then stopped realising she isn't sure if it's safe for the baby. So instead, she's laying on the couch with an icepack to her head, hoping it'll help somewhat. The pain is throbbing against her eyes and she just can't settle herself. She wants to cry, but she knows that will just make the pain worse, so she groans and tries to keep her eyes shut, trying to mind over matter the pain. It's not working at all, the more she focuses on the pain, the worse it seems to get.

"What's wrong?" She hears a voice ask her. Her mind is swimming, and it takes her 30 seconds to process the words, and who said them. She just groans at him, feeling like she can't speak. "Is it the baby?" He asks, his voice sounding more panicked than it had a moment ago. She shakes her head, wincing at the pain.

"My head feels like it's going to explode." She whispers, still not opening her eyes. 

"Do you need painkillers then?" He asks.

"I don't know if I can take them while pregnant." 

"Oh." He says, "Okay, let me see what I can do then." He walks away for a moment, and Taylor feels tears rolling down her cheeks - the mix of hormones, and pain, and constant nausea is all taking its toll and she can't stand it anymore. "Hey, why are you crying?" He asks gently, sitting on the floor next to her on the couch. She opens her eyes, wincing at the bright light.

"Because!" She cries "This baby is trying to kill me." She sobs, probably a tad dramatic but whatever, she's in so much pain. 

"I can assure you, the bean isn't trying to kill you." He says, looking into her eyes. 

"Well it feels like it is, I'm so sick everyday, my body doesn't feel like my own, and now I'm in so much pain and can't even do anything about it!" Her head throbs as she continues sobbing hysterically. She can't even stop crying now, everything feels unbearable. 

"Hey, it's going to be okay. This is where I come in, I'm going to fix this." She feels him take her hand and rub his thumb over her knuckles. "I know I can't grow the baby for you, or take all your pain for myself, but I can help figure out what pain meds you can have, and I can get you food, and put something on the TV." Her sobs turn into sniffles as he talks, she's thankful that even though it's been awkward the last few days, he's shifted the moment she's needed him. "I'm just going to make a call quickly, okay?" He asks, not letting go of her hand. Taylor just nods, watching him as he picks up his phone, calling someone. 

"Hey Kylie, I just have a random question." She can't hear the other end of the conversation, so she lets her eyes slip closed, focusing on his hand holding hers. 

"Can pregnant women have any type of pain relief for a headache?" 

"I do not just call you for women problems." He says defensively.