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I wiped away the tears that were on the verge of flowing out of my eyes. Gazing at my miserable state, I laughed at myself. Whenever that man is around, I can't help but be affected by him. Every time I see Eshaan, those butterflies perpetually explode in my stomach. I would often steal glances at him until he shifted to Los Angeles.
To me, Eshaan is like a Kohinoor—priceless yet not mine. He vanished into thin air, and I carried on with my life. I felt as if someone had stolen my ability to feel when I wasn't with him. While I was in London, Bhai and Eshaan carried on living in the States. I kept everything that transpired between me and his best friend a secret from Bhai.
My two constants were Inaya and Ansh. My little, swoon-worthy crush on her brother was always known to Inaya. I knew it was foolish of me to confess it, but I also didn't want to lose him and regret not telling him how I felt about him. And when I confessed to him, his words made me repent of what I had done. Probably, he thought of me as an amateur or I wasn't worthy enough of him, or perhaps it was just our age gap. And right at that moment, I knew that this would always be one-sided. My love for him.
Always have been and always will be, one-sided.
One-sided shit is worse. It's awful when the person you love deeply doesn't feel the same way, but we can't make them feel that way either. Furthermore, someone like the career-driven Eshaan Shekhawat, who has his business as his primary goal at all times, is far away from this love and all. I closed the Eshaan chapter when I realized I couldn't impose my feelings on him. I began to take care of myself. To better myself, I began to take my combat training and therapy.
When I saw him hanging out with Sara, his best friend, it made my blood boil and I began to despise him. If he can laugh and go out with her, why can't he consider me? Am I not good enough? Am I not what he wants? His thoughts kept plaguing me. During boxing training, combat sessions, and college classes, my thoughts revolved around him. Perhaps seeing him with another woman led me to believe that Eshaan was more than just an infatuation; it was an addiction, an obsession. The Dark Obsession. My Dark Obsession.
