Vice Versa (BL)

Chapter 15 : TALAY

I had made the right decision. Yes. It was exactly the right thing to do. The right decisions weren't always the easiest to make. It was for Puen's own good. So why did I feel like shit? No sooner had I walked through the door of the shooting location, I regretted it. An unyielding determination took hold of me and I continued to walk away.
It was all over.
I wasn't going to see him again.
I collapsed on the sidewalk between the passers-by. Motionless, the tears began to flow. A car rammed into me.
"Looking for a cab?" the driver asked.
Unable to utter a word, I remained silent as I continued to cry. The man shrugged his shoulders and went off in search of another customer. His angry eyes haunted my mind. He had every right to be angry with me. I'd lied to him. But now I felt he hated me.
I wiped my cheeks and snot and walked to my car. I went to the agency to hand in my letter of resignation. I walked to the exit and heard my name. I saw that the receptionist was waving at me. I walked towards her, hands in my pockets.
''So you're leaving us?''
My eyebrows rose in surprise.
''I only quit two minutes ago. How did you know about that?''
''I've got ears everywhere." She said, pointing to the ceiling. ''So...why this decision?''
''I don't belong here anymore.''
''You seemed happy to work here, though. At first, you were useless, but then you were able to adapt. Puen was happy to have you by his side.''
My heart sank at the mention of Puen.
''Yes, that's true...but I don't think this job is for me. ''
Her cell phone on the counter vibrated with a sound. She clicked on the new notification and a Puen fanpage opened. She must have seen something funny because she laughed as she stared at the screen. She started typing, then put down her laptop. I could read what was displayed and was amazed at what I had just learned.
''Are you Julen2000?''
''Yeah !" Madee laughed . ''Don't tell anybody. I like my anonymity.''
''You're everywhere Puen's name is mentioned.''
''I'm his biggest fan.''
''And Julia's too." I grumbled.
''My attention has also been drawn to Julia because of Puen, but otherwise I'm not a fan of hers. She's arrogant. On the outside she acts like a saint, but I know her true face because I work here.''
I nodded in agreement.
''But... if their relationship broke up, would you be disappointed?''
She frowned, thinking for five seconds before answering.
''No. It's not my life. I'm a fan of Puen, but I can't control him. I want him to be happy. I know some fans are hysterical and can overreact. I'm not like them. Far from it. Many famous couples have broken up, and it's never been the end of the world.''
''But...he's only known for dating women, right?''
''Uh...yes...''
''So it could be...''
I stopped talking before I said something I shouldn't have.
''Well, I'll be off.''
''I hope that, whatever path you take, you find happiness since you haven't found it here.''
''Thank you, Madee. Goodbye.''
I returned to my former life. I walked home with a shuffling step and slammed the door behind me. I dropped onto the sofa.
''That's it, I quit. ''
''What?!" My mother exclaimed. ''And what are you going to do with your life? I thought you were going to get me free tickets to the premiere of Anan's movie!''
I rolled my eyes. Anan was an actor in his forties whom all women my mother's age adored. They were worse than the Beliebers.
''I'm going to do what I should have done in the first place.''
''Be unemployed?" My brother sneered.
''Thanks for your support..." I sighed.

***

I had several job interviews over the next month. I stayed away from showbiz gossip. At first, my mother told me she read articles about Puen and I asked her to stop. She thought it was strange, but eventually listened to me. Then it was my brother's turn. This guy had decided to become a model and wanted advice from someone with experience. He asked me to call Puen. Of course, I still had his number, but I'd never used it again, as something forbidden. I used to stare at his number for a long time without ever calling him.
Then someone from the past that I was trying to forget came to bother me.
I had just come out of my last interview when I received a call.
''Hello, Talay?''
''Talay? It's your precious Randy.''
''How did you...''
''I asked the agency after Puen blew me off when I asked about you. I just got back from vacation when I heard you quit. I was looking for someone to explain the situation to me. He told me you weren't speaking. So what happened? '''
''What was supposed to happen...''
I heard him sigh on the other end of the line.
''You did something stupid, didn't you?''
''No...I don't know.''
I felt like I had a two-ton ball in my stomach.
''I did it for him, Randy. Our lives are too different. Puen is meant to shine. I don't want to get in the way of his career.''
''Actually, you did it for yourself.''
''Argh, you sound like Puen. ''
''You're afraid of not being enough. It was the same with my exes. They were insecure. They were jealous. They expected me to leave them every day. I end up doing it because that's what they expect. It gets tiresome in the long run. I want to find someone who trusts me when I tell them I love them, no matter what kind of life I lead. ''
''I don't want him to hate me later.''
''He already hates you.''
''Not totally.''
''With time, yes. You'll always have a feeling of lack. You don't know if you'll fail. But it will never be a waste of time to try. You'll live with questions and regrets.''
''Puen won't give me a second chance.''
''Show him you want to fight for him. That's what he needs. Trust me." He says in a sad tone. ''Even if you have the paparazzi, the attention of the fans, the money, the life of a celebrity is sometimes lonely. It's nice to have someone by your side.''
''Is this really the right thing to do?''
''If you have any doubts, don't do anything. Puen doesn't need a weakling." He snapped.
I didn't take it the wrong way. His Hardy tone was an electroshock.
''Thanks, Randy.''
''Don't hesitate to ask me for advice because you're a real jerk." He reproached me before hanging up.
What had I done? I'd ruined everything like a moron. Puen was a kind and generous man, but I'd betrayed his trust...and in the name of what? Love? That was the excuse I'd made up.
I dialed Puen's number. I went straight to his answering machine. I was pretty sure he'd blocked me. I called the agency. I recognized Madee's voice.
''Made of Stars, what can I do for you?''
''Madee, this is Talay.''
''Oh ! How are you ?''
''Fine..actually no. I'm trying to reach Puen. You can give him the phone please ?''
''He's out of town. It's his new perfume launch tonight.''
''Where is it?''
''By the beach. Give me your number. I'll send you the location.''
''Thank you. You're a lifesaver ! " I said, running to my car.
''Oh, by the way... I have something big to tell you. Did you know Puen was g...
In my haste, I hung up without hearing the end of her sentence. I wondered how I was going to access the event. I no longer worked at the agency, so I didn't have a pass. I'd find a way. I had to talk to Puen tonight and not some other day.