Bad Reputation - Part 2

15.

Ilyana took me aside during the second practice session of the day, which unfortunately, went as bad as the first one.

I thought he may be in pain, that's why he was holding back but Ilyana told me it wasn't that.

I mean, he obviously still was in pain but it was something way worse.
He was scared, just as I thought.

Kelcey walked in the garage and stood next to us. "He's not doing good, right?" She said as she looked at the broadcast.

"No, he's too nervous" Ilyana mumbled. I bet she didn't want people to know that he was actually afraid of crashing again.

"Then make him a bit less tense" a mechanic chuckled as he turned his head to Ilyana. "Shut up" she rolled her eyes with a scoff.

Okay now they were making jokes with each other. She's definitely been here more than once or twice.

"Not that bad of a suggestion though" Kelcey joked, laughed a little until she looked at me and realized she shouldn't have made that joke. "Sorry"

"No you're right but we haven't bad sex in months now" Ilyana shrugged. Kelcey and I frowned at each other.

For months? We used to have sex every single day.

"Oh" Kelcey said. "That's pretty long" she chuckled, probably didn't know what to ask or say.

"Yeah, it doesn't really work after his crash" she whispered.

Fuck she thought we were having girls talk, if she only knew who she was telling this to.

"Is it broken?" Kelcey said a bit too loud.

"No" Ilyana quickly said. "I mean, I don't think so"

I cleared my throat, didn't want to talk or hear about my ex his broken dick.

But that also explained why he was so frustrated all the time.

"Kelcey, we're gonna cancel the interviews for La-" Zak said as he walked up to us. Unfortunately he looked from Kelcey straight to me.

He frowned, narrowed his eyes as if he was trying to remember me.

"Francesca, I help Lando with his injury and stuff" I said, hoping he wouldn't remember me at all.

"Francesca" he nodded. "You were our bartender in the paddock club"

I nodded with a little smile. I was, before I left. I ghosted Zak as well.

Which must've been also quite embarrassing for Lando, he got me the job and I just left without giving an explanation.

Not to him, not to Zak.

"And weren't you also Lando's girlfr-"

"Zak what did you say? We're gonna cancel Lando's interviews? All of them?" Kelcey interrupted him at the perfect time.

God I owed her for that.

Kelcey and Zak left the garage, leaving me with Ilyana. She was looking at me, I could feel her eyes on me.

She definitely heard him, could also figure out wat the last part of his sentence was.

Lando didn't tell her about us, I already knew that because otherwise she wouldn't let me be so close to him.

This was gonna cause some drama between them.

Not that I cared at all.

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It was late, already dark when Kelcey and I decided to leave to the hotel.

We have been talking for hours, we didn't even realize we were talking for so long.

The hospitality was empty, the paddock as well.

Except for Jon who was sitting on a chair outside of the hospitality.

"What are you still doing here?" I asked.

"Waiting for Lando" he mumbled as he put his phone down. "He's in the garage for hours now"

"Do you mind if I go to him?"

"Not at all" he shrugged. "Get him out of there please"

Oh maybe he would be out of there in 5 seconds because it didn't seem as he wanted to talk to me at all.

Kelcey waved at the both of us as she walked out of the paddock to her car.

I walked in the garage, looked around a little but I didn't have to look for a long time.

He was sitting on the floor of the garage, next to his car, his back against the wall. His arms were resting on his knees.

Pretty bad posture when you just had a broken back but okay.

He looked at me when I walked in and quickly wiped away his tears with one hand.

"Can I?" I asked, pointing at the floor next to him. "Go ahead" his voice cracked.

He put his hand through his hair but didn't look at me, at all.

I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing. I just let the silence fall between us.

He turned his head to me, his eyes were red and puffy.

Just by looking at him, I realized what he must've felt like when I left.

But this was more than that, this was about Ilyana, about his fear of driving, of losing his job, his passion.
This was about Elena, about us.

He looked in my eyes and I looked right back in his. They were blue tonight.

"Did you ever think about how I was feeling these past two years, Francesca? How I was doing?" His voice was soft, so soft.

As if he was holding back his tears.

"Did you even.." he stopped, clenched his teeth against each other, so his jaw was doing that thing.

"Did you even love me?"