Chapter 8

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In the three weeks since my first shift at the strip club, not only am I making a shit ton in tips, I've also gotten closer to the staff

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In the three weeks since my first shift at the strip club, not only am I making a shit ton in tips, I've also gotten closer to the staff . Who knew I could even have friends. Apparently these people think my bitchy personality is funny and entertaining.

I don't know about all that , but for the first time since my dad died I feel like I belong somewhere. For so long it was just Shane and I against the world , I'd do just about anything to protect and shield Shane from our crappy lives. So much so that I put my needs aside for him.

I'm truly trying to learn balance. I don't want to stop protecting Shane or putting his needs first but I also need to learn to put mine first too. I have to take care of myself so that I can be there for Shane and anyone else in my life.

Speaking of Shane , he just finished his junior year of high school . Well barely, it seems he's gonna need to attend summer school to acquire enough credits to be a senior next year. If not he'll have to repeat junior year. I really underestimated how bad me being away would have affected Shane. His grades and attendance really took a nose dive after I was sent to jail.

My goal is to have Shane graduate high school , if I can get him there. I hope to send him to college. I want so much more for Shane than a life of crime or dead-end jobs. The problem is Shane is a stubborn little fucker who is set on not graduating, but also doesn't want to disappoint me so he keeps going to school . While just not really putting in a real effort though.

Also in the past three weeks , Viper has been actively trying to bulldoze my impenetrable walls that I've built up so high to keep people out. I can't get the fucker out of my head. I refuse to live a life with someone who will actively cheat on me with some fucking club whores .

I want to be with someone who's loyal , and has respect for me. I want to be someone's everything. I want to feel like I matter. I want to be loved. It's been a very long time since someone has loved me and taken care of me . I know that Shane loves me but he's a teenager their quite unintentionally selfish. I give him everything but he doesn't give much in return.

I know he'll grow out of it , once we're out of the stage of me being caretaker and more of me being just sister , things will evolve. Back to Viper , I don't know what to think . He's nice to me , always asks how I'm doing. He actually listens and wants to know how I'm doing. It's confusing. He's a biker , they're usually selfish and just trying to get laid.

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