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CHAPTER NINE { The Things We Carry } ***
YOUR HAIR IS STILL WET from your hurried shower earlier. As you pace the length of the conference room, Emily and Hotch's eyes bore into you. JJ reads a file at the table in front of you.
"Well, the real question is, why'd he attempt to kill himself?" Morgan announces. He's leaning against a wall, his arms draped across his chest.
Spencer sits up straighter. "Brooks, what did Diego say to you before he went unconscious?"
Emily's jaw tightens and she can see Hotch tense beside her. Everyone is looking at you now, waiting for you to respond.
Dont bite your lip. Slow down your breathing.
You're consciously attempting to control your heartbeat as you begin to speak.
"'I couldn't take it.'" Your voice is barely above a whisper.
Hotch can see the rest of the team's eyes lingering on you as you pace. You don't notice; you're too deep in thought. Sometimes, when a case gets tough or confusing or drags on and on and on, you get into this state. Like you can't hear the people around you. Like you're physically consumed by the urge to catch an unsub.
Emily can tell that theres a thought poised on the tip of your tongue, but her main concern is getting the team's eyes off of you. You like to keep your private life private, and if Spencer continues to study you as intently as he is, she knows he'll pick you apart in mere seconds.
"So guilt." Her voice perforates the silence.
You swallow. "Either he did something or he knows who did."
"Maybe he's helping his brother." Spencer adds.
Your eyebrows draw together, something you always do when you're confused. "We didn't profile a duo."
Spencer shakes his head. "Maybe he didn't help Jonah kill the children. Diego gave him access to the property where Jonah tortured his victims. Thats enough guilt to cause someone to spiral."
You nod, slow and controlled. Dont let your lip twitch. Don't rip at your nails. Control your breathing. Control your heartbeat.
"I'll have Garcia get the addresses of all the properties that Diego manages in the area." Hotch announces.
And without another moment, Garcia has the locations of three homes within a ten mile radius.
