Breaking Free: A Nofap Story

Reflection

When Mark woke up from his depressing slumber, it was raining, nature expressed how Mark felt on the inside. "Man I messed up, I need to get things in order, in my mind, body and spirit." Mark got up from his bed, sat down at his now empty desk, and grabbed his notebook and a pencil.

He began to write down a list, a detailed list of WHY he was doing this, he knew porn was a cynical monster. He knew porn was destroying his brain, but what was his PERSONAL reason? What was his end goal? The end game in all this? Was it to get a girlfriend? To get right with God? To be a better man? What exactly was he doing?

Mark began writing, but within 5 minutes he stopped, he had come to the realization he didn't know what he was doing. With not only his journey to be porn free, but with anything! His whole life has been thriving off of what other people wanted him to do, and he was a yes man, on top of that, he had come to another realization, he was severely depressed. He was a young man, not knowing much of the world, not knowing much of anything, except go to school and be somebody.

The party scene was the norm in his college town, but why? Why was that? Like honestly what was everybody doing with their lives? Just because your 18 to 21 doesn't mean you have to get drunk every weekend and party and hook up, it doesn't mean you have to sleep around. Mark than became dissapointed with himself, he wanted a new normal, he wanted a new life, he wanted a new routine. So he made another list of what he could do to make his weeks more meaningful, he didn't really have a job, well its time to change that.

Mark applied for a couple of side hustles, he already had a car, it was even paid off, it was given to him by his parents, and in fairly decent shape. "This should help even me out, if I had money coming in, I can at least have some sort of say in my life." Mark thought this with confidence.

Now he had some sort of direction in his current situation, he spent the rest of the day reflecting his actions of last night, and also his actions of the current day. He began filling his notebook with thoughts, feelings, wonder, and concerns, not just for himself but for the college campus. It was a wonderous feeling, this was so much more meaningful than doom scrolling porn! After it was all said and done, Mark left his place and went for a walk, he wanted to think about his schedule for the coming week, maybe than his porn free journey wouldn't be so difficult.