Sultana's Sultan

chap1 p1

I was sitting in the car.my  destination recorded in my mind,the trees were passing by in a blur.the sun beam was golden ,reflecting through my windoow,the sky was the perfect shade of blue and black,it was peaceful,atleast the enviroment, my mind on the other hand held war between silence and strom, my mind was never a safe place for me but i needed silence and isolation, i don't even remember thee last time i felt safe in my own skin, whenever i'm alone i feel like   their are thounds of ants crawling on my, what i would give to part from my own skin.

i rolled down my window ,the cool breeze coressing my face, the cool which was only so cold in the dawn of day and the dusk of night, my hijab flutered going rouge but still controled by the pins that took ten minuts of my early morning.The soft silk coressed my face like cloud.my thoughts were interupted by the bursting music from Emana's phone but she quickly turned it down, if anyone else was her he would have thought she would have just turned it down to not interupt the serene armosphere but i am no stranger. i counted until three, one... two.. thre-  her blood curling sound echoed in the car. she was singing ,My dad looked in the rier-view mirror his lips twitched with a hint of a smile that growing by the second  until it danced and touched the edges of his eyes.

she is his daughter ofcorse he would smile when he see her happy,although we both agreed that emana"s singing  is  like a rat is dying  and it's last words are squeak squeak *Can someone put a cotton ball in her mouth and let me die in piece.* poor rat ,i don't why  i am comparing its melodious voice with her blood rattling.

Today is my fist day to the university of  Quaid-e-Azam ,i don't remember when was the last time i was passionate about somthing ,truly ,genuinlly, bitterly,selfishly. but this,this university has been my dream since i was young.i am no longer that naive girl i used to be. My deen has not strayed,   but my heart has hardened since then, my words a command rather then a request, firm instead of soft. my blade sharpend ,my hands scarred. But this ,everything but this, i may have forggoten the feeling of being alive with a working heart but i will not forget the shimmer of a black coat and the silent command of  justice,it lit a fire in me that day ,the back and forth of words ,words of affirmation, faces of regret and cries of sorrow. my fire had simmered to a blaze but it would die down it would shimmer ,glaze and burn anyone and everyone who would dare come near me.it will rise and rise ,until the weather  pollutes  with ashes and the wind sings songs of my victory, it will covet thoes who has done me wrong. 

I am here tobe a lawer and i will be one hell of a lawer. Stand on your feet and sturdy yourself because i am a strom that will uproot your throne made of grainy stones.

*****

it took us thirty minuts to reach here, as one by one everyone got off the car. every first day of my school, or any important day, my family was there with me in need, in health, grief, in good and bad they have always been there and ofcourse this day too.my brother,Hameer got out of his SUV,his raven hair glimmering like strands of starlight,Hameer was a big man,with hight and muscle and he never let me forget about it.

he opened the  backdoor of his car  and held Hamza in his arms,my nephew had cute plump cheeks that were now making a pout,his eyes were droppy with sleep,he was small compared to other children his age and considering how he was born, its a miracle that he is even alive.Hot blazing rage poured through my veins like mplten lava,even recalling that incient leaves me with boilling rage.

My thoughts were intrupted by someone pulling my clothes, Hamza looked up at me with his big doe eyes, my heart is indeed made of stone but i have soft guarded spot for my family in my heart, He put his hands up in the air so ican pick him up, Hamza never went to another person, noone,not even imedite  family members ,not fully, his shyness and fear towards other people have always been present in his eyes, but me,i have done everything in my power for him to trust me and sometimes i am reminded iof why i put effort in this like now, i will never give up the oppurtunity to dote and love my nephew when i get one.i picked him up and he imeditly put his small cute face in the crook of my neck, i let him because its rare and i love him, i despise the person who has taken his mother from him. who has left him without a mother and my brother without a wife,they were so happy before.now i don't remember the last time i saw him smilling.