TragicPassion

The Poem

Noel:

After the past few days I have spent with Mischa, I think he might also like me back. It's crazy to think about, this guy who I have always seen as straight might actually like me back?

I am stuck in my room all weekend, since I am still grounded. It is currently Saturday afternoon. I have been writing a lot of poems about Mischa in my notebook, wondering if he has a crush on me or if I am getting my hopes up. Should I ask him out myself? How would I do it? And I don't want to ruin the friendship we have if this isn't the case. Should I just risk it?

I look over the poems I have written about Mischa. Then an idea pops into my head. I heard the other day that Ricky had asked Penny out with a love note, maybe I could do something similar.

Mischa said he loves my poems and always wants to read them. I am going to write him a poem.

I get started right away. I spend the rest of my weekend in my room, writing many different drafts. Then on Sunday night, I am happy with my work. I find a nice piece of loose paper and copy my poem onto it. I carefully fold the paper into an envelope shape and place it on top of my notebook so I don't forget it in the morning. I struggle to sleep. Well I always struggle to sleep, but tonight it feels different. I am so nervous and excited.

***

I wake up and look at the time on my phone. For once I have actually woken up early. I get ready and pack my bag. My Mum usually hassles me to get ready earlier because she drives me to school sometimes if I'm not too late getting ready. She seems surprised to see me sitting in the car waiting for her. I scroll my phone, trying to calm my nerves a bit. The poem is in my pocket ready to give to Mischa when I get to school. He's never consistent with what time he gets to school since he drives himself, but I'm also never consistent so I can't judge.

I get out of the car and walk into school. I'm really early today. It doesn't start for another half an hour. Despite being early there are still quite a lot of people here. I walk past the boys who used to throw papers at me. They haven't done that since I started hanging out with Mischa. Maybe they are scared of him.

I hear them laughing from behind me but I ignore them. I'm not going to let them ruin my mood of being excited to give Mischa my poem. I should probably read over it once more with fresh eyes to make sure It's perfect. I go to pull it out of my pocket, but it's gone. I check the other pocket. It's not there. Maybe I dropped it in the car or I forgot it at home. Then I turn around and see the boys reading it and laughing.

My heart drops when I see them. I run over to them without even thinking. One of them looks up and sees me coming towards them.

"Aww you come back to get your love note for the straight guy?" The first guy says and the others laugh.

"Just give it back please!" I plead, reaching for it. The second guy pulls it away and laughs.

"No thanks. And try not to get your filthy hands on me, I don't touch the gays." The second guy says. I try to grab it again but fail. He passes it to one of his friends while they are all still laughing.

"Yeah and I just washed mine, you disgusting human being." The third guy says.

For some reason their words hurt more when they say them out loud, rather than in their many notes thrown at my head overtime. I take a step back for a second, trying to figure out what to do. I can't show them that they are hurting me since that's what they want. I could leave the note and just write another one, but leaving it with them just doesn't sit right with me. I reach for the paper again, but one of them shoves me really hard out of the way and I stumble to the floor.