I Want to Taste You Better (Vessel Sleep Token)

18

It's been about a month and a half since I found out that I'm having twins. Life hasn't gotten any easier. I'm struggling to find my own place that's within my price range and has enough room for me, Chloe and the twins. It would probably be easier if I wasn't paying a mortgage on a house that I'm not welcome in anymore, having to fork over a shit ton of money to this lawyer and having to support John until he's able to find a job. The paternity test wasn't cheap either. Plus, John still isn't allowing me to see Chloe.

I'm supposed to be having my anatomy scan today, where they make sure that the babies are growing and forming how they should and maybe even find out what they are. 

I'm also still waiting on the results of the paternity test. It's taken longer than anticipated because James lives on a different continent, so mail is a little slow. He did get the kit about two and a half weeks after it was ordered and has mailed it back but now we're just waiting for results. 

John refused to do the test. He's not convinced in the slightest that the babies are his. Which, I don't blame him but it would make it much easier on everybody if he did it as well. He said the only way he'll do a paternity test is if it's court ordered after they're born. 

So I guess we'll see what's gonna go on. I also got transferred to a high-risk doctor's office because apparently having twins can be dangerous. I learned that they are going to be identical twins. They share a placenta but have separate amniotic sacs. The further along I get, the closer they're gonna be watched because I guess one twin can take everything from the other and pretty much starve their twin to death. 

Anyway, I'm at the doctor's office, waiting to be called back. My mom is with me for moral support. Her and my dad have been absolutely amazing to me through all of this. They were disappointed that I did what I did, understandably so but after about a week, they became super supportive. 

They're still in contact with John so they talk to him every now and then to find out how Chloe is doing since he won't let them talk to her because he thinks they will put me on the phone. 

Anyway, I just got called. My mom helped me up- not that I really needed it. I'm big but I'm not that big. I'm definitely bigger than I was with Chloe around this time, though. 

We followed the ultrasound tech to a room specifically for doing ultrasounds. She had me confirm my name and date of birth as I laid down on the bed and my mom sat down in the chair next to the bed. 

I lifted up my shirt as she tucked a towel into the waist band of my pants so that the ultrasound gel wouldn't get on my clothes. She squirted the gel on my belly and it was actually warm for once- which is nice. 

"I apologize ahead of time if I dig in too deep and hurt you. Just let me know if it's too much, I just need to make sure I get all the pictures I need" she warned me as she pressed the wand into my belly. 

"It's okay, this isn't my first rodeo" I chuckled lightly as she moved the wand around while clicking to take measurements. 

"Are you wanting to find out the sex of the babies?" She asked. I nodded in response. I don't want to tell James or John until I know who the father is. 

"Are you hoping for boys or girls?" She asked. 

"It really doesn't matter to me, as long as they're healthy" I replied as she took more measurements.

"What about you?" She asked my mom. 

"I'm on the same page as her. I only have one granddaughter but I have four grandsons" my mom replied. My poor older brother has four teenage boys which means unfortunately Chloe doesn't get the experience of playing with her cousins because they're so much older than her. My brother's oldest son just turned eighteen and his youngest is thirteen.