Dilectus Miles- a medieval lgbtq romance

Part six

I don't want to die, but I don't want to live either. Johan was my heart, he pumped life into my body. Without him, I'm pretty much dead anyway.

All I saw was red, my sadness had turned to rage. I wanted to set the whole world on fire so that everyone could suffer as much as I did.

I couldn't bear this pain myself anymore, it was easier before when I could share the secret with Johan, but it doesn't work anymore, the secret is eating me up from the inside.

I decided to go to confession. I know it wasn't my smartest moment but what other choice did I have?

I tried to remain unknown, the booth I sat in was small and dark, my father was already sitting on the other side of the wall and said "What do you have to confess?" I said in a distorted voice. "I have sinned enormously, I have started a romantic relationship with a man, but the worst of all is that I regret nothing."

I waited in horror for what he would answer. Will he forgive me, send me to hell or did he recognize his son?

The door to the confessional was flung open in front of me.

This is the beginning of my end.

My father looked at me completely frozen and horrified, this was the first time in my life I had seen him cry. I didn't know how to react, but finally I took a step towards him, he responded by taking another step away from me and shouted in his most furious voice "You are not lower my son!" he ran to me with the bible firmly in both hands, the last thing I remember before everything goes black is that I feel a hard blow and a tremendous headache.