You met Mr. Turner, your professor, on the train, and boundaries between you were never the same. What began as a chance encounter quickly spiralled into something much more complex.
More insight and warnings for each part over on my Tumblr @goblin...
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The next morning arrived with an unsettling calmness. After the intense and weird night with Alex, you were supposed to visit your parents. It was a promise you had made when you first told them you'd be around. And while a part of you wanted to call and reschedule or something, you thought that maybe a day, or even just a few hours away from Alex might be what you needed. It almost felt necessary.
The previous night still haunted you. How he had broken down in a way you'd never seen before. Seeing him cry while he was so intimately close to you was almost terrifying. You had hidden your true feelings in the moment, not wanting to make him feel even worse, but the memory lingered. It was unsettling.
You prepared your things slowly, your mind replaying the events of the night before. Every tear that fell from Alex's eyes onto your skin felt like a heavy drop of sorrow, each one mixing with the sweat of the act between you. His sobs, so raw, so unfiltered, echoed in your ears, a stark contrast to the usual fake confidence and controlled persona he wore almost like a costume.
Being so close to him, feeling his body tremble with each cry as he moved within you, should have been too much to bear. But you took it. It was a side of him you had never truly seen, not like that, a depth of pain that he had hidden so well until it erupted in the most unexpected of moments.
You found yourself torn between wanting to hold him, to soothe his pain, and the instinct to protect yourself from the overwhelming emotions that his breakdown had unleashed. It was almost frightening to witness someone that could make himself seem so strong fall apart, and it shook you to your core. You felt a need to be there for him and a simultaneous urge to escape and gather your own thoughts.
As he held you down, you couldn't help but feel a pang of something darker. It made you feel almost used, like a tool for his catharsis, even though you knew he would never intentionally hurt you. His tears, his anguish, everything seeped into you, leaving a lingering ache behind. Despite knowing his intentions were never to cause harm, his desperate need for release had left you feeling more like an emotional crutch than a partner.
The memory of his broken sobs, the way his body shuddered against yours, lingered long after the physical connection had ended. It was a reminder of the fragile line between his cover and the ultimate truth that had been eating at him, a line that Alex had crossed right in front of you. And it was hard to shake off.
As you finished getting ready, you glanced at your phone, contemplating the call to your parents again. The idea of seeing them, of stepping back into the familiar, felt like a chance to regain some semblance of normalcy. You needed the distance, if only for a little bit, the time to process everything that had happened without the constant presence of him.
You paused at the door, looking back at him again. He was still sleeping, but it had taken him a long time to be able to actually fall asleep. After that moment of clarity, after you had finished...hefinished...where he seemed almost okay, he had started crying again. You remembered how helpless you felt, unsure of what to do other than hold him. His sobs had returned, even more heartbreaking than before, and he had clung to you desperately. Eventually, he fell asleep with his head on your chest, soothed by the gentle rhythm of your fingers playing with his hair.
